~Life's like a music piece~

恭喜发财!!!^^

2012-01-29T01:23:00.000-08:00

今年的农历新年
虽然没有华丽的新衣裳
但却是目前我所过的，最欢喜的华人新年=)

原因超简单：
就是一家人团团圆圆，和乐融融地吃饭
大年初一开开心心地去运动爬山
和父母一同买年货
替弟弟庆生
和妹妹一同逛街
还一起烤花生饼
及搓汤圆
世间还有什么比这些更珍贵呢？

当然还有回祖母家拜年
与亲戚们哈拉
姻缘巧合之下也拜访了Vihara Buddha Gotama一趟
有机会一定要再次拜访那里的师父

每逢过年必做的事
就是与老同学们一起团聚，去拜年
到每个同学家及老师家去讨红包

最后过年最难忘的
就是吃个不停
妈妈煮的子姜鸭最入味
还有甜鸡酒最最最好吃
完全无法抗拒甜食和饼干的我
每拜访一家就会把过年饼都试一遍
自己的家业摆放了一系列，不同种类的年饼
在回大学前一天还拜托妈妈烘个奶油蛋糕

吃得本小姐都难以鼓起勇气站到秤上量体重

今天。。。
又再次离开了家
回到了熟悉的大学
心态与往常不同
没有太大的抗拒
也不会感到太伤心
大概是因为学佛后稍微懂得如何把心态调好吧

总之
在此恭祝大家永乐安康，学业进步
开学愉快唷~
=]

♥lastly♥

love ya papa

love ya mama

love ya cutie sis

and love ya handsome bro

Im a Buddhist

2012-01-17T01:48:00.000-08:00

Looking back at my previous post, the younger me would never believe that its written by her future self. Im a Buddhist since I was in secondary school but was never a quite faithful follower. In fact, most of the time I'll consider myself a free-thinker. But as time goes by, as Im growing up, there's one more thing that I've discovered, that is the importance of one's spiritual development.

Ps, no offense to free-thinkers out there, if you're feeling somewhat uncomfortable reading my post you can just "X"...But Im so gonna share my view on religion with you all here:)

During the Dhamma class that I've attended last weekend, I asked:

师父，为什么我总是觉得不快乐？

为什么我会觉得很寂寞很想家？

师父答：

一，有可能你还没有找到你的人生目标，所以总觉得生活没意义。

二，有可能你心中没有一个依靠。

These two reasons are so true indeed. Regarding the first reason, its not that I haven't decided on my life goal yet, being a doctor is the only occupation that I wish to do in the future. I've made this decision since I was Form 4, when I developed interest towards Biology and human's physiology, and when I figured out that life is simply too short, so Im gonna live a challenging, meaningful life by choosing this profession of white robe. I don't wanna live a simple life and work like a robot. I wanna see different people with different illness and challenges everyday that need my help to alleviate their sufferings. I know this sounds cheesy-fishy-whatever but that was what inside my mind, really. However, I did realise that my love towards people isn't that strong. I think it takes time to develop this greatest love of all, towards all people regardless of race and religion. So...I guess this doesn't count as one of the reason right?=)

To me, I think the second reason plays a bigger role. When parents are no longer by my side, physically I meant, what i can rely on is my friends. But friends, to me, frankly speaking, they are impermanent, and you wouldn't know whether they'll betray and leave you in the next second. This makes me feel so vulnerable, sometimes...So, my trust and understanding in Buddha teachings has become my core of living, just like a guide or map. Whenever I've lost my way, I'll just refer to His teachings.

Im sure that any major religions lead their followers to a positive, correct way of living, not only Buddhism. So I respect any other religions as well. Im glad that Im still not too late in realizing the importance of spiritual development, because it does makes you a better person, with more positive outlook and hope towards life.

say bye to the old me

the depressed, miserable me

life is definitely worth living

if you have found the reason

快乐何在？

2012-01-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

人为什么会不快乐？
快乐不在别人身上
快乐在你自己的心

我们每天都只注重，照顾外表
每天洗澡，打扮得光鲜亮丽
每天把肚子喂得饱满
但你曾好好地照顾过你的心吗？

人活在世上越久
心自然就会越混浊

现今社会问题越来越多
也是因为心出了问题

人之所以会病倒
大部分也是从心病起

所以，有空就多静坐
把心静下来
把心定下来
把心净化

一切由心而起
当心是纯洁的
快乐自然会来

这是我参加了Dhamma Talk后所领悟的小小道理

与各位和我一样在寻找快乐的朋友们

共勉之~

_/\_sadhu sadhu sadhu_/\_

the rules of living 2012

2012-01-07T03:27:00.000-08:00

The first rule of living through 2012:

To never ever compare yourself to others.

This has never been an easy rule for me to abide to, but i'll try my best:)

Second rule:

quoted from the late Steve Jobs

"Don't be trapped by dogma-which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others'opinions drown out your own inner voice."

Third rule:

also quoted from Steve Jobs

"Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

As my daddy has always taught me: Just do whatever you think that it's right.

Hopefully i could stick to these three rules as much as i can la=)

✿ ✿ ✿

WOW!!!

I feel like Nervous System Block just passed by like a storm! Within this 5 weeks, we've been bombarded with LOTS of lectures, seminars, clinical demonstrations, radiology sessions, PBLs, clinical teachings and the list goes on and on...and THAT hasn't count in those extra pile of books that we need to read and self-study yet! Time, has never been enough for me to cover everything, and i just couldn't understand how certain people can read and learn so quick and efficient. Nevertheless, I'm still quite happy with my own progression, well i think i've grabbed at least 70% of the essence of such complex organ.

It was such a fun block actually, especially with my interest of the brain. Plus those 5-star-neurologists/neurosurgeons in HUSM as our lecturers and tutors. It was indeed a great learning experience. The only thing is that, this complex organ really requires so much reading and time to understand. Those physical examinations were so many and some signs were just too hard to be elicited, but there were all so FUN & INTERESTING to perform. And the part when you should correlate all the findings and try to localize where the lesion is...THAT was the hardest and most challenging part, yet exciting!!!^^

I can't really differentiate whether im loving/hating this nervous system block, but i can only tell that i feel a sense of relieve...Tomorrow we'll be starting a whole new block-Psychology!!! Sounds interesting, and the time table seems less hectic. Great! At least i can use those time to brush up more on Nervous System.

And that's about it dear readers! Sorry if i made you feel bored, but this is what i wish to share with you guys, my original thoughts...

Lastly...

Final rule:

To have fun and enjoy life!

Smile & laugh when i still have teeth!

hehehe:D

on new year eve

2011-12-31T02:40:00.000-08:00

Hi world:D
wonder why everybody's talking bad about 2011

i mean...
it couldn't be THAT bad right?
bad memories give us lifelong lessons
nice memories give us something sweet to savour
and im grateful that when i look back
i recalled more smiles than tears

So, its another last day of the year. And im stuck at my campus as usual. Tonight's gonna join a Buddhist activity outside campus though, at least my new year eve is occupied by a much meaningful activity than reading lecture notesX)

Hhmmm, it has always been my habit of jotting down new year resolutions. And i've just took a glimpse on my last year's resolution. Interestingly, im actually thinking of reuse and recycling most of them to be this year's resolution, maybe just need some modifications. Will updates with you guys once i've figured it out:)

Before publishing the final list of new year resolution, i have one, just ONE little wish for the upcoming year...

~I wish to live a happier, purposeful life

ONE more...hehe

~I wish for good health and happiness to my loved ones, esp my family

Lastly,

DEAR READERS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

MAY EVERYBODY BE BLESSED WITH A MORE JOYFUL YEAR AHEAD

dearest 2011,

thanks for the memories

but i won't linger around you anymore

will be starting my life anew with enthusiasm and hope!!!

a weekend retreat

2011-12-22T01:25:00.000-08:00

*beaming with joy*

will be heading home tonight!!!
gonna celebrate Winter Solstice and also Christmas with my beloved family this year!!!

although i only have 3 precious days to be spent with my family
but its more than enough to cure my homesickness

and im gonna take this opportunity to take a break from my studies
sometimes when you're too occupied in doing the same damn thing everyday
you tend to forget the ultimate reason why you're doing it
and you'll see life as a meaningless one

promised that i'll return on monday as a brand new me
living with passion and compassion
love towards people
and never, ever forget my hope and dream

wishing my dear readers

Merry Christmas

冬至快乐

choose happiness

2011-12-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not perfect.

Usually, I won't reveal much of my inner thoughts in this cyberspace but somehow today i feel like doing so. Simply because there's no reason why i shouldn't. Those who don't care won't give a damn on what I'm trying to tell here, whilst those who are my beloved family and friends will get to know more about this girl.

Yes, as what I've told, I'm not perfect. Although I always give false impressions to others that I seems so, I just don't know why. The fact is, you guys just can't see beneath this shimmery glittery surface of mine.

Most of the time, I'm drowning in my own pool of self-pityness. I blame the whole universe but myself for being stuck in this jungle of nowhere for pursuing Medicine, forgetting that it's actually my own choice. I chose my dream of becoming a doctor, I'm pursuing my dream, only thing is that I'm not feeling happy, and I blame it on this place, of being way too far from home, of being too rural, too "malays", too scarce of food etc etc. In the end of the day, I choose to feel miserable, neglecting that there's another choice called happiness.

Sometimes, I may even blame myself for choosing this dream, especially when I'm too stressed and worn out of energy from studying. I never deny that I love the knowledge I gained in the field of Medicine, just that the journey can be so tiring and never-ending. And that made me question myself: why do i choose this spiky stony road? Again, in the end of the day, I choose to feel miserable, forgetting the joy of knowledge seeking, and putting aside my life goal of saving people from illness and sufferings.

I'm such a bad girl, whenever i call and tell my parents about my misery. I knew I shouldn't do so, but I just can't control myself. I love my parents a lot. Calling home should be a warm and happy thing to do, but because of my bad habit, I feel even worse after talking to my parents because it further aggravates my homesickness. I'm feeling so bad for creating pressure to my parents because I keep on telling them how sad and stressed and miserable I am and how much I miss them...

Life offers us choices.

You can choose to feel miserable and make your life difficult,

or you can choose happiness and make your life easier.

And today, I'm courageous enough to tell you guys my story because I've decided to make a choice. Yes, I want to choose happiness. It's not easy to break the bad habit and make such a huge change within a short time, I need determination and by taking baby steps, I hope I can transform the rain into sunshine within no time. Meanwhile, I just need to remind myself from time to time.

"Choose Happiness"

wish me luck

;)

most memorable part of my interesting medical student life

2011-12-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

although its only been a week since i posted my last entry

i feel like centuries!!!

dunno why~

most probably due to the hectic week i guess

so how's everyone?

as what i told ya... my last whole week were sooo packed, like canned sardinesX)... anyway, im glad that i made it through. So, to summarize(so that dear readers you won't "X" my blog^^), the main event of my 3rd year in this university has finally ended, quite successfully i would say, which is the Intervarsity Wushu Championship. There were lots of preparations, quarrels, sweats and tears but the most important thing is that at the end of the day, when we think back what we did, that will bring smiles on your face=)... And i think we've made a good impression of our Wushu Club to other universities too, as most of their feedbacks are the positive ones...

Well, right after that event, after the hustle and bustle of cleaning and tidy up the mess, the day after, was our turn to revisit our village for our CFCS Intervention Programmes, and this time, its no laughing matter, cz we need to stay at a foster parents' home for 5 days!!! I just gotta admit that i was feeling quite worried+anxious, cz although im not that princess-sy, im still having my own intolerance over certain things. Anyhow, i tried to believe in my coping and adapting skill, and eventually things turned out good^^

if it wouldn't be my stolen faves crocs shoes...and the cockroaches and ants in my room at my foster parents' house, i would say that things were GREAT!!!X)

lets enjoy some snapshots from our CFCS programme!!!

which consists of activities such as house-to-house visit for educate and poster-distribution, family day, health screening, talks and forums, taiji practice sessions etc etc...

our objective was to educate the villagers on living a healthy lifestyle by exercising and eating healthily, in order to reduce obesity^^

my mak angkat and ayah angkat...and also another 2 malay friends who were staying in the same family with me...

my first meal with my keluarga angkat...a noble lunch cooked by all of us together...

ps,i was in-charged of the vege^^

various kuih prepared by my mak angkat...she ROCKSSSS at making kuihs!!!hehe

the pretty girl on the right with brown shirt is my adik angkat...on free time,she brought us to some sight-seeings around the kampung and this nice unpolluted river

besides, i've also tried many things that i've never even heard before, such as cooking "bubur asyura"

the end product of bubur asyura after stirring non-stop from 8am-5pm...

ingredients: rice,water,corn,beef,red bean,green bean,gula melaka,sugar,various spices,curry,coconut milk,blended onion,chilis and garlics...

sounded weird, but surprisingly, it tasted quite good!

*on individual preference

we invited one of our lecturer in USMkk, Dr Ang to teach the villagers to practice taiji...

some of the games played during the Family Day...

cooking demonstration and competition...our objective was to teach the villagers how to cook their food in the healthy way by reducing the usage of oil, sugar and salt...

colouring competition

给自己

2011-11-26T15:14:00.000-08:00

无论多累
都得努力撑下去

无论多气
都得保持菩萨般清静的心

无论多郁闷
都得抱着开朗的心情

无论多缺乏睡眠
都得试着精神奕奕

无论多紧张压力
都得保持镇定

黄欣茹
相信自己
能走到今天的你
肯定不是想象中的脆弱！！！

最后，只想告知于未来的挑战：
来吧~
我已全副武装等待克服你！！！

rewinding happy days

2011-11-16T02:21:00.001-08:00

well these were the few things that i did during my hols

sharing with you guys

at the same time rewind those happy moments♥

simple happiness comes from every early morning hill-hiking with my parents and our pet doggy Cody

we celebrated my sis's sweet 16th birthday during our Penang trip, and satisfied her wish of a Chocolate Indulgence cake from Secret Recipe

not to forget to spend some time with my beloved popo

next would be my cousin: Ah Teng jie jie's wedding...all i can see is an over-the-moon bride smiling like she's the happiest,luckiest girl in the world!!!and her bridegroom oh-so-romantic singing to welcome his bride during the grand entrance was the highlight of the night!!!they just looked super gorgeous together!!!wishing them of eternal love and forever happiness^^

and all my relatives looked soOO gorgeous too during the wedding dinner!!!

last but not least...my cooking diary again=)

i tried to bake a super healthy oatmeal cookies with less sugar,less butter,less flour,less eggs and MORE oatmeals!!!so i'll not feel guilty when eating it hehe!and i added raisins and choc chips...and it just taste SO nice!!!one of my fave end product...will bake it again perhaps during CNY hols...

and this...TADAA~

is my daddy's favourite roast chicken...sometimes i could be so jealous of this chicken because i suspect my daddy miss him more than me...just kidding la~XD

anyway,its seasoned with butter,rosemary,lemon,salt,pepper and oregano spices...and then bake in the oven with slices of pumpkin...one of the successful recipe that i "steal" from Masterchef Australia hehe

bye holidays!

2011-11-15T06:35:00.000-08:00

after the short yet precious 1 week holiday
im back to my campus again
with sleep deprivation and homesick-ness

haha!!!
yup i always sleep less when im at home
too busy watching Junior Masterchef Australia every midnight xp
and despite that waking up every morning at 6am to hill-hiking with mum & dad
then spending my afternoon food-hunting,shopping or baking
and my holiday flies away...
just.like.that

i finally got my new phone!!!^^V
still exploring...
is there a book entitled "Technology For The Dummies"???
if so,i'll definitely need to read thatX)
but im feeling so-so-SO grateful...
thanks to daddy im now having a handphone,medical dictionary,high pixel camera,entertainments etc etc all inside my pocket!!!=)

my luggage was overweight when i was "flying" back
all i've gotta do is act as if my luggage was feather-light
and YES!!!
i managed to pass through the boarding gate without being charged extra by Air Asia^^
and did i tell you that my luggage was actually full of food???
ALL TYPES OF FOOD!!!
instant porridge,instant mee suah,instant noodles,instant soup,chewy Quacker bars,Oat cereals,biscuits,and lots-AND-LOTS of apples,oranges and percimmons!!!^^
my lovely parents they're just so worried that i'll be starving in my campus
so basically they were hunting for the best instant food for me><
im simply the luckiest daughter in the world!!!♥

its been the 3rd day since i came back to my campus
and im still NOT in the mood of studying yet...
HELP!!!
i keep falling asleep in lectures@.@
and im so sick of the rainy weather in kelantan...
it just makes me feel so cold,lonely,emo and lifeless...

nah~
STOP blaming on the weather would you???
take some good rest and restore your spirit and energy to learn!!!

one of my fave quote:

there are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't.

what you've gotta do is turn around and say:

"watch me"

homey time!!!

2011-11-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

NO MORE BARLEY AS REGULAR MEALS FOR ONE WHOLE DAY!!!

NO MORE OATMEAL FOR DINNER EVERY NIGHT!!!

Its time to go home!!!

and get F.A.T!!!

homey homey here i come

a walk in the rain

2011-10-30T04:39:00.000-07:00

its been raining everyday
at least nobody will see me cry when i walk in the rain

sorry for breaking down
that was all because i care
not only for myself
but for all of us

terrible
its a harsh word to me
a humiliating label

because terrible students
yields terrible doctors in the future
and i don't want that

most importantly
we've disappointed doctors that are willing to teach us despite their hectic schedule
i feel incredibly bad

honestly i've been holding on it for a year
and today, i just couldn't bear it anymore

i've said what i have to say
to change or not to change
is something beyond my control

today was a bad,bad day...

now i just wish to bury myself into the blanket

squeeze out all my sad emotions

transforming em into tears

and have a good sleep

then waking up the next day

leaving behind the sad emotions

and wish for a better tomorrow

r@nd0m

2011-10-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

countdown exactly 1 week before going home!!!^^

just a random post with some random pics...

relax and enjoy dude~

my pathetic-looking, completely dead and lifeless K810i...

thanks JiaRong for lending me this temporary ancient black-and-white phoneX)

Hmmm~my favourite place in Kelantan!!!

the newly opened Tutti Frutti♥

the instant cure for my emos^^

Last but not least

the recent me

yayaya~my hair is getting longer...

what should i do about it?

suggestion,anyone?:)

till we meet next time...
nitey~

work for a cause,not for applause

live life to express,not to impress

dream big,start small

2011-10-21T04:44:00.000-07:00

Here comes the end of the first week of Communicable Disease Block, I have learnt everything from bacterial/viral diarrhoea to biosecurity agents like Anthrax. I enjoyed all the learnings from lectures, clinical teachings, PBLs...But at the same time feeling the tension slowly building when my lecture notes start piling up,which supposed to be a very normal phenomenon...Guess maybe i've become unfamiliar with "pressure" after staying in latency period for too long...Nevermind! I will be gaining back my resistance within no time!=)

Im currently trying to hard to improve on my clinical skills, because deep down inside i know that it has always been my problem, and i've been hiding away from it. So from this semester onwards, Im gonna face the fear, I don't wanna become a doctor that have all the medical knowledges but sucks at clinical skills. Im gonna clerk more patients, to overcome my fear of approaching and talking to patients, taking their medical history and performing physical examinations, most importantly be more confident. Good news is i've made my first big step and it turns out great!=)

Sometimes, it's just hard not to feel lonely. Since there's no way to avoid it, Im learning how to embrace it. It's not that i don't have friends, the only thing is that they just can't ALWAYS be there for you...Same thing, actually i shouldn't be feeling this way because i've been experiencing this in my 2nd year. Anyways, I know there's nothing wrong at all for being alone, im feeling more free even! And I know im not alone for being alone, if you get what i meanX)

My handphone has been declared "battery dead" since last night. Thank you for serving me faithfully in these 3 years! Even though Sony Ericsson phone has quite a bad reputation on short lasting period, but i need to tell you the truth that i've dropped my phone for umpteenth times but it still have perfect functions and lasts long enough for me! A special thanks to my friend JiaRong for lending me his spare black-and-white handphone to last till i can go back home and buy a new one. Hhmmm~ I gotta apologise to my parents for making them worried about me because i didn't call back home for 2 days! And i deserved the "Howler" from my mum in facebookXD

I think that's about it, my grandmother story! Sometimes i do prefer to write in paragraphs, like the traditional way of essay-writing, better way to express my feelings^^

It's a weekend!
Im gonna indulge and treat myself a movie tonight!
Then, buckle up my feelings for a focused, better tomorrow;)

dream big

start small

lil thought(s)

2011-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...22!!!

22 days before going home=]

im missing my family already

like so badly

♡

my "ancient" handphone has gone hay-wired...

the most that i could talk with my parents is 10 minutes

after this it will be burning my ears and fingers

and the conversation will be cut off automatically

oh dear...

i wish we could stick to each other longer

but,i really gotta change you!

my dream phone>>>Samsung S2^^

mom told me that there's now an offer of installment ~RM50 per month for 3 years...

i promise i'll cut down my expenses over here to save RM50 each month...

hehe

♡

found a recipe that i wish to try out today!!!

owh im SO missing my oven at home...

♡

YAY~

communicable disease block will be starting next week!

can't wait to resume my medical studies=)

in the same time meaning that by next week i should STOP honeymoon-ing and drama-movie-novel-magazine marathon!!!

erm...let me rephrase it,instead of torturing and restraining myself from all these entertainments that you could ever find in the "jungle",im gonna treat myself better by doing it in a moderate way muahaha:D

♡

its 10pm...

trying to sleep more while i still can...

Nightey everyone

^^V

learning to live=)

2011-10-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

its a leisure afternoon
just had a packet of nasi lemak FOC!!!
ooops i actually paid RM10 for that=.=

RM10(because im one of the AJK)
=seminar on "public speaking" by a super ~~lame~~ speaker+symposium+Course Night of Faculty of Medicine
=3 merit points

for non-committees,your charge will be RM30!!!
not everybody could afford this don't ya think...
but you'll be surprised by the merit points-obsessive crowd
because no merits=no hostel
this is the equation

this ends up...

christian people attending buddhist society's AGM
buddhist people attending christian fellowship's AGM
wushu people attending taekwando club's meeting
everybody turning up in whatever event that grant merit points
they turned up,signed attendence,stay for 5 minutes and leave
FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!
THIS IS SO UGLY!!!
WHO ~~THE HELL~~ CREATED THIS MERIT SYSTEM???

* * *

Amitabha~
Sorry for the yelling just now,i promise that this will be the last time of me losing myself to furious-ness. I've been borrowing self-help books from the library recently,and attended Dhamma talk organised by Buddhist Society,although i wasn't able to attend every dhamma classes due to CFCS,i did learn alot from the 2 hours of talk.

things that worth pondering:
-Everything in life changes(无常).
-Don't be over-obsessed by money and material things.
-Those material thingy can't bring you true happiness.
-Do not deny anything absolutely,be flexible.
-The way to true happiness is to understand the meaning of life.
-Do not let your vision be clouded by $$,earn it through the right way that benefit others.
-Instead of spending your whole life in chasing $$,we should just earn enough for a living.
-For the rest of the time,spend it with your family/loved ones.
-Spend some time to upgrade your inner-self.
-Cherish,those who're still with you.
-Let go,when the time comes,because if there's life,there's death.

These are what i understood and learned from the Dhamma talk by 继持法师.These are really powerful thoughts,at least it changes the way i think and act now,and it makes me a better,happier person:)

Oh i also mentioned about those self-help books i borrow from library right?Nope im not suffering from any dilemma etc,merely wish to make good use of the leisure time now to strengthen my mind,and inner-self,don't think i'll have time reading these books once Communicable Disease Block starts...So,"S.U.M.O" is a really motivational book,it actually stands for Shut Up,Move On! I haven't finished reading it yet,cz wanna digest the information slowly into my head.Hehe! The book that i've finished and enjoyed reading was "The 100 simple secrets of Happy People",it consisted of short stories,and evidence-based research on how you can live happily.

I wanna be a better person than yesterdays
YAY!!!:D

thanks for the memories

2011-10-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

drizzling rain outside my window
the weather is so cooling
and im in a semi-conscious state
ready to fall asleep by any second
but NOT before i've finished blogging about this:)

this post is specially dedicated to my beloved club in USMkk...

Thanks for playing a BIG part in my 2nd year in university.

You made my life busy like hell yet so fruitful and satisfying.

You snatched away most of my study time, just enough to teach me how to appreciate and make good use of the precious time left.

There were times when i was so angry and frustrated,only through this i've learnt how to manage my emotion and not let everything to be displayed for public.

Once,you took away my dignity and i felt like giving up,but you made me realize that life has to move on,i finally found my courage and the spirit to make a good fight.

Serving with you in this whole year was indeed an eye-opener,i was never good in judging between good or bad,but now i think i have a much better "eyesight".

I have always thought that love is a wonderful thing that you'll never have enough,but you made me see that over-pouring love could bring destruction.The worst part is,when you love truly and deeply,you'll be hurt deeper and longer.

Lastly,you've definitely made me a stronger person,mentally.Im still keeping a strong faith and belief that,the good shall ALWAYS win.And now i believe in myself more than anybody else.

You made me smile.
You made me laugh.
You made me cry.

But no matter what,you're still a beautifully crafted piece of memory which i will be keeping till the end of my life. Im truly happy accepting the fact that im passing this great responsibility to the next generation,in the meantime feeling sad that we could no longer directly contribute to you anymore.Believe me,when a group of people are sharing the same vision of making something better,and together we made a difference,it feels amazing.

We've tried our best and have no regrets.
Its your turn now=)

urticaria!!!

2011-09-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

For those who have no idea about urticaria:
It is commonly known as hives, which are raised, often itchy, red welts on the surface of the skin. They are usually an allergic reaction to food or medicine.

i've been having this bad urticaria for 3 days!!!
it wasn't my first time though
it actually happens whenever there's a change in environment
in this case: coming back to my university after the 3 months break at home

grabbed this from the internet...

but my skin does look like this, all over my body!!!

looked horrible isn't it?T.T

anyway, i went to the student clinic yesterday, hoping that the doctor will give me an anti-histamine shot which will curb the allergy instantaneously. Unfortunately, that doctor said that i can only get the shot at A&E if my symptoms worsen and involve my airway, causing difficulty in breathing wo...in the meantime, i can only take anti-histamine pills to reduce the itch. Don't ask me what im allergic to, cz i've no idea! But the doctor said its in my gene=.=

the problem is...the pills isn't strong enough to relieve my itchiness as it only work for short hours...plus its side effect of causing drowsiness making me sleepy all the time...plus, the maximum dosage for each day is only 3 pills!!! The doctor said: NOT TO SCRATCH!!!as the scratching will stimulate more histamine release...but its easier to be said than done...

im praying hard to Buddha to speed up my recovery and end my suffering...

say NO!!!

2011-09-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

sorry,i don't mean to be rude

just frustrated...

promises were dumped like a garbage

heartbroken

why can't you quit

once and for all

"whether you believe you can,

or you believe you can't,

either way you're right."

just an update

2011-09-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

first of all...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY USMkk MARSHMALLOW
HUI DI^^

just a lil bit of latest updates on my life...

のBioethics block finally ended!!!will be followed by 3 weeks of CFCS...study life would be guaranteed boring!!!good news is i will have plenty of time to revise back 2nd year notes,yet still have so much time to watch movies,dramas and read magazine...bad news is we're wasting 1 month++ of time in the campus learning nothing more than "how to break bad news" or "pre and post-test HIV counseling"...

のGOSH my handy is dying...i thought i can use it for another year,but its battery swelled up like ascites!after undergoing battery transplantation,i thought i could prolong its lifespan for at least a year,who knows it will turned hyperthermic(HOT!) after few minutes of chat with my mum...good news is i can FINALLY have a new android phone,hopefully...bad news is $$$ goneT.T

のwas learning origami from the net today and found out that its another addictive hobby!i can practically spent hours just to fold a paper cake!!!

のim SO happy and contented with my life right now,i love my room and my new roomie...im gonna admit that i was feeling worried that i might be left out from my gang of friends since i stay in another hostel which is different from the rest of them...but now i realise that whenever a friendship is cherished it shall never fade just because of trivial matters...FRIENDS are my only valuable asset that keeps my life going on here in USMkk...

のi've borrowed a book named "The 100 simple secrets of Happy People" from the library...just thinking that its time to do a bit of self-motivating and enlightening when im free to do so...if not,when the major block like Communicable Disease comes,there will be no time for me to adjust my mood...thought that im a cheerful person?yes,from the outside;not really,from the inside,im needing guidance and on the way to achieve true happiness and satisfaction...

のi think i need to always remind myself that there's NO MORE honeymoon-ing in 3rd year!!!we will have t face Professional Exam 2 in the May 2012!!!owh~better go to sleep and study MORE each day,starting from tomorrow!!!hehe

im grateful that Buddha has always by my side

and answering my prayer

lending a hand whenever i needed it

this time

i hope that Buddha can answer my prayer too

night(:

my baking diary♥

2011-09-16T00:46:00.000-07:00

one week has passed since i returned to my university campus
life's still can be considered as free and easy
as the lecture notes are not that heavy, yet
and most extra-curricular activities are not back on track...

except this!!!
Intervarsity Wushu Championship 2011
dear readers, if you're a wushu lover, please don't hesitate to follow the link above!!!

well...where was i???
ooyea, i was telling you that im enjoying my free time now
and...just wanna rewind my memory back to my hols...
im presenting my baking diary

♥ ♥ ♥

I've tried 10 different bakings during my 3 months holiday. Im not sure since when i've acquired the passion but i think it might be TV's influence...HAHA...Because of my favourism towards food channel, my ultimate fav would be Australia's Masterchef!!!^^ I love baking, simply because i enjoy every lil steps of it. And for every lil steps taken, i will ensure that im putting in every pieces of my heart. I will also try my best to make the best presentation of my food because this delivers my tender, loving, care(TLC) towards whom that taste my food. Baking, it takes a lot of focus, patience and care and lots of time and money as well...But at the end of the day, when your baking becomes a success, every effort is worth it. However, life is not a bed of roses, there were times when my baking came out as a failure. When this happens, it challenges your acceptance of failure, your determination and fighting spirit. As for myself, when the food that i prepared came out as a failure, i will search the whole universe(the internet!^^) for the answer and solution, then i'll try again till i succeed. Although baking is my top hobby, but i do cook other types of food as well eg. western dishes like pasta, roasted chicken and eastern dishes learned from my beloved mum. In a nutshell, all cookings carry the same theory: when you put your heart into it, people can taste it:)

~Apple Pie~

~Chocolate Cheese Cake~

~Sandy Hazelnut Gelato~

~Cinnamon Roll~

~Banana Cake~

~Banana Cupcakes~

~Cheese Tarts~

~Chocolate with Hazelnut Brownies~

~Baked Banana Cheese Cake~

~Bread Pudding~

Owh...After doing this review, im feeling SO hungry and im missing my oven SO much! And also the "fans" of my food: my family!!!^^ (although sometimes i may kinda pressured them to give good comments on my food LOL) And maybe, after i've gained enough cooking experience, or when i have time to do so, i may create another blog specifically for my cooking diary!hehe

Ok, enough of rewinding...it's time to travel back to the present and start to work hard for your future...Hhmmm, when mentioning about my future...Maybe i could open a bakery just next to my clinic, which sell only healthy whole-grain bread and pastries with no added preservatives, and not to forget gluten-free bread for my allergic patients...

*slap slap*

study first, lah~

kick-start of the 3rd year of my university life

2011-09-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

greetings world!!!=D

yep im finally back to my university campus, a.k.a back to where i should belong, where i shall continue the unfinished, which is my medical studies. of course there's a lil bit of unfamiliar feelings towards everything esp after the 3 months' break, eg. new roomie...lecture hall...hospital...even friends!!! but im trying my best to adapt, adjust and kick away the hols mood...

basically what i've done for these few days after coming back is to "kepoh" with long-time-no-see university mates! from the latest hairstyle, to holiday trips, to new couples, to weight gain bla-bla-bla...this 3 months interval has definitely accumulate enough topic for us to discuss for days and nights...

my first block for my 3rd year MD is Bioethics and Communication Skills, which is the ~~useless~~ dullest topic of all!!! plus a not-so-enthusiastic lecturer giving us skip-as-much-slides-as-you-can lectures, it will definitely be 2 boring weeks...so most of us are starting to do some revision on our 2nd year lectures, esp after what we've done nothing during the hols! besides this, we're also preparing for our 2nd Residency of our CFCS a.k.a "masuk kampung" programme. Just had our first meeting yesterday to combine and analyse the datas gained from our previous residency, and im disappointed that some of our group members are still as ~~lazy~~ uncooperative as 3 months before. C'mon, i thought holidays are supposed to keep us refreshed, recharged, and motivated??? Somehow, perhaps its just me, that im holding my own principle too tightly, i was trying to make a change which i think will be beneficial for our group's progression. But now, after seeing how people react towards my act, i decided to blind myself and LEARN to accept things/people that refused or cannot be changed.

Nonetheless, i went for jogging and found out that there's a new jogging track! will definitely try it someday...and i returned to my wushu family! paid a visit to my wushu juniors while they are practising for the upcoming Wushu Demo Night+AGM(GAMBATEH!!!^^) when i was studying in the library, jogging or having my lunch at cafeterias, there are a lot of new faces but i don't know any of them. time flies~~~ i was once one of them, but now im the oldies unfriendly-looking 3rd year senior to them...well,till they really know me!!haha:)

lecture is gonna start in half an hour time, better get prepared and move now!

stay tuned for more interesting encounters!

LOL

12/12 of my hols

2011-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

FINALLY~
here comes the end of my blissful 12 weeks holiday...

Can't help feeling sad and depressed
counting down the hours left to stay with my family
thinking of detaching myself from home

fighting with tears from rolling down
so broken-hearted
T.T

but daddy was right!
what are you guys gonna do if your holiday never ends?
where do you guys wanna be if you don't wanna return to our university life?
these 2 simple questions did let me ponder for quite sometime
and had given me some wake-up call...

we're not living in Neverland
where Peter Pan never grows up

we just need to accept the reality
that is...
enough for the holiday!
return and embark your new semester year of medical studies!
embrace your university life with enthusiasm!courage!determination!

Let's have a new fresh start of the 3rd year of my medical course!

im gonna kick-start it with positive attitude and fighting spirit!

kick-off the blues!

and welcome the new semester with yellow sunshine!

everybody lets do the same!

JIAYOU AH!!!^^

THE CLIMB!!!

2011-08-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

after having three days of adequate rest
finally im here to gather up pieces of memories
and share my thrilling experience of conquering the highest mountain in South East Asia:
MOUNT KINABALU!!!

it was a 3 days package with the first night staying at Sutera Lodge Inn, which situated about 20minutes away from Kinabalu National Park...it was a nice little hut with a few rooms, dining hall, living hall, kitchens, bathrooms and toilets...it was well-equipped with warm shower, slippers, towel, toiletries etc etc...and we were sharing the hut with another bunch of climbers from HongKong...the meals provided were delicious too!!!after getting adequate sleep,we woke up at 6am, took our breakfast and went to the entrance of Mesilau Trail to meet our mountain guide

our bags were weighed and will be carried by our guide to Laban Rata...the charge was RM9 per kilo...and mine was 5kg!!!well, of course you can choose to carry your own bag if you're capable enough to climb the mountain with all the weight on your shoulder...mind you, those guides, they are really well-trained to carry more than 10kg of your bags and still can move effortless up the mountain!!!

with such excitements, we started our journey up to Laban Rata during the first day of climbing...i would like to share with you that there are actually 2 routes that can reach Laban Rata, the one we taken was Mesilau trail, which was more than 8km long but you'll definitely enjoy the nature as you'll be crossing rivers, muddy trails and rocks...the other route is Timpohon trail, which is about only 6km long with steep staircases, an easier but quite a boring trail...

My mountain climbing team mates were all my coursemates from university!!!

there were 8 of us and im proud to say that we were all fit enough to complete the entire adventure!!!

OFF WE GO!!!

i enjoyed the view of nature along the trail where you can see the dramatic changes of the tree species...they changed from sky-high trees with green leaves, to the grey-looking, shorter and balder trees, following bonsai-looking with dark green leaves, and finally to bald trees with dangling green fur...

there were "pondok" along the trail for you to take some rest and eat to boost your energy, refills of water were available but not advisable...c'mon you wouldn't like to have diarrhoea halfway right?^^

our lunch box provided by Sutera Mesilau Lodge...such a light meal so for people with big stomach and fast metabolism, better to bring your own snacks like energy bars and chocolates

looked easy huh???but after hours of hiking, your limbs power will be drained off...and this kinda long-winding stairs will be like your greatest nightmare~

the weather was quite bad during our climb...heavy rain come and go...luckily all of us brought our raincoat

one of my friend was having a really bad muscle cramp...but his will and determination brought him to the peak!!!good job YiChuan!!!

after about 8 hours of hiking, we FINALLY reached Laban Rata!!!

i remembered that as a super duper happy moment!!!

as we were so hungry, tired and wet!!!

the yellow building was our shelter to stay for 1 night at Laban Rata...the best thing was it offered us buffet dinner on the day we reached, and also buffet supper and breakfast on the following day when we climbed to the peak...the worst thing was, they didn't provide warm shower!!!and it was a freezing 10 degree celcius up there!!!the-freeeezing-freeaakingly-painful-shower-that-i-will-never-ever-forget!!!XP

Ooya, the peak can be seen HERE, just behind the yellow building!...

after reaching Laban Rata, we finished our dinner at 6pm then went to rest and sleep at 7pm...you have only a few hours to recharge your body and mind as you need to wake up at 1.30am to have supper then meet up with your mountain guide at 2am to start the journey to the peak...that midnight climb was indeed the most unforgettable experience as you can see nothing but what your headtorch shone to...it was rocky trail all the way and it was super steep and challenging...typically, i was like Spiderwoman or Catwoman in some places where i need to climb up the near 90 degree rocks...sometimes you may need to hold the rope to pull yourself up so make sure you have a very well-gripped gloves...the temperature that time was near zero degree celcius...

after 3 hours of climb...

FINALLY!!!

we managed to reach the peak of Mount Kinabalu!the view was indeed magnificent but since it was very cloudy we didn't have the chance to see the sunrise...however, as the sky slowly brighten up...you'll have nothing to say but: WOW!!!

since the temperature was too cold up there and also the fear of heavy rain, we were urged to descend as soon as possible...this was taken on the way downhill, another peak of Mount Kinabalu...on the right was our mountain guide...

here comes the SCARIEST part: going down the steep slopes and rocks!!!

a million thanks for our mountain guide cz i can't imagine myself going downhill without holding him as balance...and during halfway downhill, rain started to pour down heavily and the rocks became even more slippery...and descending of those 90 degree rocks with white rope was the CRAZIEST thing i ever did in my life, i wasn't dare to imagine what might happen if i accidentally let go of the rope or if my foot just slipped off!!!sorry if im being a lil bit exaggerate BUT i have phobia even while crossing the "longkang"!!!XD

i was so THANKFUL that i was still ALIVE after reaching Laban Rata from the peak!!!

we had our breakfast at Laban Rata, rested for an hour and checked out from our room...

next, it's time to embrace the painful journey of going downhill from Laban Rata to the Kinabalu National Park...trust me, climbing up wasn't the most difficult part, it was the part when going downhill!!!

we took about 4 hours to reach the National Park from Laban Rata and nothing hurts more than my big toes!!!and we feel nothing more than RELIEVED and SATISFIED!!!

LASTLY

i present to you...

the worthy RM6.80 "Kampung Adidas", which have superb gripping...highly recommended for climbing Mount Kinabalu...you can ask your driver to bring you to the convenient shop on the way to National Park to buy it...

thanks for saving my life my loyal shoes!!!^^

and of course...

my certificate and name tag for remembrance!!!

footnote:
some people might ask why am i willing to pay RM890 to this self-torturing journey...i will always give the same answer, that it's a once in a life time experience that you'll never forget till the end of your life...some climbers described it as life-changing, as you'll be amazed by your hidden, inner-strength and determination...the whole adventure isn't only about physical fitness and stamina but also require resilience, courage and motivation to move on no matter how difficult the circumstances are...

take the challenge

and try it

when you're still young and fit!

;)

thrilled!

2011-08-12T07:15:00.000-07:00

6 more hours!!!
SABAH HERE I COME~

the ultimate challenge:
to conquer and reach the peak of Mount Kinabalu!

simply excited.nervous.thrilled.

stay tuned~
cz i will be back 9 days later to write about my adventure;)

and please...
a BIG GOOD LUCK to me!!!^^

in the meantime...

will definitely miss my family and everything at home!!!

6/12 of my hols^^

2011-07-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

i've been looking for part-time job since my hols started
but just couldn't find any

well my chance came when there was a PC Fair in Ipoh last weekend!
and for the first time in my life
i took a part time job as a cashier in this 3 days event

well, you can just call me a princess
i wouldn't mind
but im still gonna tell you that
standing and smiling at your stall from 9am till 10.30pm
is definitely not my cuppa tea

my dad said 这个女儿真不能吃苦!!!
well i totally agree with him^^

of course i get my salary
and THAT will gonna be my pocket money for my Sabah trip!

conclusion:

these 3 days have been a whole new working experience for me, knowing people from different sectors, learning something about printers, to be a good and careful cashier!!!
im totally grateful knowing that currently my life is on the right track...what i mean is a physician/surgeon is the kinda profession that i will be devoted to. im just not into boring/meaningless job(p/s, no offense to anyone! different people has different purposes in life^^)
spending money is easy, but earning it??? you don't really know the answer if you never try it...

lastly...

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2

IS AWESOME!!!

=)))

4/12 of my hols^^

2011-07-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

its been A MONTH since my hols started
i'd choose to be an optimist rather than a pessimist
that means there will be TWO MONTHS more of blissful hols
just wish that im utilizing it fully though=)

so last week i just had a fun family trip to Malacca
yup, its once again Malacca!!!
and i wouldn't say that it's less enjoyable than the trip with my friends either
i just simply LOVE spending time with my family♥

our first stop was the Melaka River Cruise

our latest family pic!hehe

the nice painting on the building along the river

the place where we had our lunch:古城

ooyea~forgot to mention that my Godsis Jenli and her son Calvin are joining our Malacca trip too!=)

the famous chicken rice ball

the busiest street in Malacca: Jonker Street

my dad!

isn't he cool?^^

after spending a fun yet tiring one day trip at Malacca, we returned to KL to have a family gathering

HA!caught in the act!!!

a BIG thank you to yin's family for treating us such delicious japanese lunch!*yum*

the Desa City Park, a perfect park for dog-walking

☆ ☆ ☆

baking is ALWAYS one of my favourite things to do during hols

and this was my latest creation: chocolate cheese cake!!!

well i guess this should be the end for today

gotta REALLY fork out some time to...

well...

study

and yea...although i aced my second term exam, i screwed up my Clinical OSCE paper,i was like,just inches away from FAILED!!!

however,dude

more fun coming soon!

stay tuned^^

3/12 of my hols^^

2011-06-27T23:24:00.000-07:00

wonder why 3/12?
its the third week of my 3 months holiday:)

it was a fun and enjoyable week spent in KL-Malacca-Muar
to summarize the 6 days trip:
i took a train from Ipoh to KL to meet up with my piggy girlfriends, went shopping and food-hunting with them for a few days before headed to Malacca for a day trip, finally headed to Muar as one of the "pig"'s hometown is thereXD

pic taken at Look-Out Point in KL

the whole KL scenery is awesome!

but the food...EXPENSIVE

the 5 piggies from USMkk

coming up next is...

THE FOOD DIARY!!!

don't drool on my blog please^^

well,

till we meet again.

cheerios!

happy parents' day!!!

2011-06-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

a late Mother's day

an early Father's day

equals...

HAPPY PARENTS' DAY~❤

a super nice Baskin Robin's ice-cream cake...

so lovely huh^^

we enjoyed it very much...

each of us holding a dessert spoon

dissecting through the layer of Jamoca Almond Fudge ice-cream and chocolate cake

the whole chunks of roasted almond...

the silky smooth and super creamy ice-cream...

the spongy chocolate cake...

the cheerful family chat...

and the sweet smile of ours...

owhhHH~

what a SWEET & LOVING family!!!

♡the end♡

ps,

maybe what i heard from the radio is true:

mother's day and father's day are meant for those who never express their gratitude to their parents!and that for me...im dare to say that i love my parents each and everyday...i did argue with them sometimes><...but,well,that was part of the fun!muahaha^^

let your parents know that you love them

they deserve it

because you're always the little devil

and they're always the angels who always stand by your side

no matter what

1/12 of my hols^^

2011-06-13T03:24:00.000-07:00

halo world:D

yea it's midnight now and im waiting for papa to come home from his working trip
miss him♥

and i've changed my blogskin!!!
i totally heart it
refreshing.simple.nice.

holiday has started for about a week now
things have never been this blissful

hill-hiking with my family...

love ya my dad^^

girls' day out with my besties in Ipoh!

food-hunting with my mum and sis...

the most delicious salmon maki!

cooking happily with mummy:

the nicest tomyam!

the tastiest pasta i ever made,i think la;)

a tribute to the Asian Food Channel!!!

well...

that's about my first week of holiday

hopefully i'll be keen enough to turn on my laptopie and blog more in this hols

stay tuned♪

oh its finally my turn^^

2011-06-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

exam's finished.

leaving with a feeling of numbness.

i wasn't as excited as i thought would be.

maybe because of im just SO NOT satisfied with my own performance this time.

DUH~STOP THE EMO!!!

HERE I COME HOLIDAY!!!

=DDD

i have miraculously finished packing everything

my arm and forearm muscles are aching and i think i might have Prolapsed Intervertebral Disc

ALL because of the 12 boxes of stuff!!!

anyway,i was happily dealing with the pain though

doesn't matter much since i can rest as much as i want from now on!^^

daddy mummy will come and fetch me next morning!

the most wonderful thing that i have been looking forward to

3 months of hols!!!

i wish i can spend it wisely

but so far there's no any plan yet...

so...suggestion?hehe

anyway...

safe journey and happy hols to all my batch mate!=)

i love to watch House

he inspires me

but sometimes also reminds me that

i'll never be a brilliant doctor as him

because im just not that smart

say hi to panda

2011-06-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

Hi~it's me...

the blogger Vivian!!!

couldn't recognise me anymore with the panda eyes huh><

well, this post is supposed to be reserved till tomorrow when my exam finishes OFFICIALLY...
but as you can see, most of us will see today as the UNOFFICIAL end of our exam
because tomorrow's only left MCQ paper
MCQMCQMCQ~
for medical students you'll only have 3 choices for each question: true/false/you don't know
sounds easy huh???
but not so because its always the paper i get the least satisfying result!

im here anyway because i think it won't harm if i take 15min to rant a bit
before gathering back the broken pieces to work hard for tomorrow
plus i won't be free to blog tomorrow cz i'll be busy packing to go home;)

ahhHHH~
i TOTALLY screwed up my OSCE Clinical paper just now...
firstly, i've got a real thyroid patient with a large anterior neck swelling!
secondly, i couldn't answer most of the questions on suture!(guess what, my pen ran out of ink in that most critical time!)
thirdly, my history taking was so kelam-kabut!

i hate it when i know that i can do better but i didn't=(

my eyes looked like panda

my hair has become scantier, day by day

i need something from home:

love

first residency for CFCS

2011-05-21T04:19:00.000-07:00

to my dearest freshie readers,

CFCS actually stands for Community and Family Case Study Programme. It's a pre-requisite subject for USM's medical students in order to pass the pre-clinical year. There will be four residencies in total, which means that we'll be entering the village that we're assigned to for four times, each time with different missions.

during our first residency, which i've just completed today, we were given a mission to walk around the kampung, draw the housing map of it, tag all the houses, and then we will randomly choose ~150 houses to do our survey on the villagers' health status. After interviewing 150 families, we need to key in all the data systematically, analyze it and then choose the most prominent health problem among the villagers to do further survey during the second residency on september.

OH PLEASE!!!
ENOUGH OF THE BORING, FORMAL INTRODUCTION!!!

welcome to...

Kampung Berangan & Kampung Banggol Jenereh

before starting our journey, we were waiting for USM Bus outside the girl's hostel...

everybody LOOKED so enthusiastic, yet a lil bit reluctant.

reason?the exam is just around the corner!!!and you're pushing us into a VILLAGE, for 3 days!!!

LOL~but we turned out to be enjoying the whole process, well, at least i did^^

passing by a long-stretch of pretty paddy field on the way to the village...

it looked like the place where Jay's MV 稻香 was taken!!!

after greeted by the friendly penghulu and the villagers...

our mapping and interview walks begun...

sometimes, it rains.

but most of the time, the Sun was just right above our head!

well, i got a severe headache during the 1st day because of the heat...

the happiest hour???it's ALWAYS the makan time...hehehe

our penghulu was so extremely friendly and we were treated 3 niceee meals each day!!!

looked at all the tired faces after a looong day of walking under the sun, visiting houses asking questions, and getting their body measurements...

and on the very last day, the penghulu even asked the villagers to cook a "Kenduri" for us!!!

the food was extremely tasty!some, are completely NEW to me^^

i've learnt quite alot of things during these 3 days...

no1 is definitely to eat by using my hand!

no2 is...i think i've acquired, at least, a bit of Kelate slang of speaking Malay!!!^^

Yea, as i've mentioned just now, we were actually kinda not-so-happy when we got to know that we are the 2nd batch who will be entering the village during the study week period. i think i might be the only one prefer this arrangement because i'll be getting a short break from the lecture notes and have something to divert my dull and stressful emotions away, for 3 days...

and now,the thing has over!
im glad that my group members are well-cooperated and efficient on getting our job done!
hopefully this thing will elevate my spirit to strive and work hard for my exam next week!!!

OoooYeah~~~
i can smell my study spirit burning within me LOL
im getting my ass back to my lecture notes, right now!
in the meantime, no more blogpost til my exam finishes on 2nd June!!!
don't miss me too much
cheerio~

♡good luck and all the best for the exam♡

BIG SMILE

from vivian

gear up,ready,GO!

2011-05-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

been spending the past few days to cover those unread lecture notes

and from this moment onwards(right after i finished blogging^^)
my revision schedule starts!!!
i have 15 days right before the exam
minus 3 days of CFCS "masuk kampung"
there are only 12 days left

im sure that i can finished revising within 12 days
but how long/good i can remember everything?
nah~im starting to create pressure on myself again
maybe this is me
who always try to push beyond my own limits

both of my daddy mummy asked me to only aim for PASS
i'll bear in mind for that
cause i don't wanna make my life so miserable
i mean...
how long can a person lives?
i don't wanna screw up the precious 3 weeks of my life just because of a term exam

sleep when im sleepy
jog when i couldn't concentrate
eat when im hungry
entertainments when im stressed
im gonna treat myself better this time
yet not tilting the balance away from the exam...

okok...
ENOUGH of the babblings!!!

let's gear up

and start the journey

jiayou everyone!!!=)

news.letter

2011-05-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

dear mommy,

You don't need me to remind you how much i love you.
Happy mother's day.

Love,

Vivian

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

don't ask me why am i 1 day late in wishing my beloved mom

cz i purposely do so

this is what makes my blog special i guess

LOL

i feel like an ice-cream recently

im melting 24/7

i bathed 4-5 times each day that i felt my skin is getting thinner and thinner

but i just can't study with sticky body!!!

thank God it rains heavily at night for 2 days

at least we can have some cooling at night

there's really no place on the Earth that's hotter than Kelantan!!!

there's an outbreak of Cali bugs again!!!

spotted some in my hostel

praying hard that it won't cause me any trouble

been having statistic lectures for Community and Family Case Studies(CFCS) for 2 weeks

and it's darned confusing and complicated!

i love maths a lot

but maths in statistic is a completely different thing

and the so-called SPSS computer programme that is used for data-analysing

owh its just disastrous for an IT idiot like me

exam's getting nearer but im still not giving it a 100% attention yet

been busy drafting letters for the upcoming Intervarsity Wushu Championship, organised by our USMkk Wushu Club...

im the secretary, for the very first time in my life haha

learning how to draft formal letters properly, establish rapport with HEP staffs and also VIPs

etc etc

my new wallet...

quite an expensive one but i think the quality is worth for the price in the long run

i'll chop off all your fingers if you try to steal my treasure again, i swear!

just some updates on my life

before bidding good night

im gonna have a nice, cooling sleep tonight=)

time to get serious

2011-05-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

just finished the Hubungan Etnik examination consisted of 40 MCQs

and it marks the official beginning of my revision schedule for Selanjar 2 MD examination

yes, i haven't started revising, not even a single note

to make thing worse, there are 2 weeks of lecture notes from GUT block which i never touched before

(that time i was away to the Bangkok medical conference)

as usual, i dislike talking to people during exam period

it maybe due to the fact that i will be easily infuenced by people's emotion-STRESS

plus it's hard to ignore other's speedy progression

another saddening observation is that people will reveal their masked, selfish side in this critical period

which im so frustrated about and hate to see

but i don't wanna lose my true friends!

whom are my pillar of support especially in a place that is distant from home...

so dear true friends, let's continue to support each other without creating extra pressure among ourselves kay;)

the ultimate motivation comes from>>>

HOME for 3 months after the exam!!!

JIAYOU♥

my life in the fairy tale

2011-05-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

hello world!!!

i've just returned into the real life from the fairy tale

im living like a princess when im back home:)

well, im now abit lazy...tired...adaptations...after the long journey travelling...

okay! im gonna give myself a day break^^

and im gonna tell the world what i've done in the fairy tale...

number one is ALWAYS my family

number two is my friends, which included my pets(dogs are man's best friend!)

number three is...FOOD

"lui cha"

my first lunch when im back homey

the luxurious dinner at a chinese restaurant with my beloved family and grandma

lunch of the second day...the famous mee goreng and pasembur in ipoh...owh i enjoy food-hunting with my mom!!!♥♥♥

thursday night always means pasar malam!!!the niceee laksa

i always enjoy the morning jog/swim/hill climbing with my parents...

then followed by a super nice breakfast!

my fav Hakka Mee

and i love shopping with my mom...

and hunt for food at the same time!!!

my mom is so adorable that she would fight with me, just for the food!

haha~

home-cooked food is always the best!!!my mom's famous secret recipe char siew is both me and my daddy's favourite!!!

another morning routine exercise...we had curry mee and special curry puff with chicken pie filling as breakfast!!!yumyum~

one of my dinner, daddy brought us to a niceee western food restaurant...and i had cheesy fish fillet with penne bolognaise

ANOTHER round of exercise...we had my fav tosai garing as breakfast!!!

the best tea-time snack ever!!!

ooyea, that yellow kuih is actually homemade pumpkin kuih hehehe!!!

there was one night we had barbeque dinner...lamb chops...chicken wings...foot-long sausages...asam fish fillets...and this is italian styled salad, made by meeee!!!that dinner was superb!

the last dinner was claypot chicken rice...then we went to a tongsui shop but i didn't take any pic though...was too busy with the tongsui...haha

well, that was the end of my food diary...

so,tell me...

how can i NOT gain weight???

hehe

* * *

anddd...you know what???

hols simply means making yourself as pretty and feel as good as possible!

cz there's absolutely no chance for me to wear pretty clothes, funky accesories and glamour fingernails in USMkk!!!

i wasn't able to decide between sunset or the deep blue sea...

so i applied both, alternately^^

* * *

and of course, other than these...

thanks to my super mom who's a super driver...

i managed to settle all my lost IC, driving license and credit cards etc etc in 2 days time!

next would be the British Royal Wedding which i get to watch because im home

owh Kate and William they are simply the sweetest royal couple!!!

my poor, cute mom she missed the kiss at the balcony!!!^^

my mom and i also went to watch "Red Riding Hood"

i think its quite a nice movie but i can't understand why those people wrote bad reviews for it in the newspapers...

then, at homey...

we also watched "The Black Swan"

a nice movie indeed and the female lead really worth to be crowned the Oscar winner(mommy told me so^^)

however, there are those scary and 18SX parts that will create bad influence on underage children lah~

* * *

i've absolutely no regret for heading back home for 6 days...

the only thing is that i, again, didn't study!!!

but this is not considered as a regret because its predicted!haha

i was showered with love

i was fed until i can feel my stomach bursting

i was motivated

and im fully-charged now!!!

ready to fight for the upcoming Selanjar 2 examination...

and also the 3 days masuk kampung trip that i have to endure...

1 month...

just 1 month!!!

i will be back to my homey again, and this time, for 3 months!!!

can't wait for that:)

in the meantime

you'll strive HARD for your study!!!

jiayou^^

temporary unavailable

2011-04-25T22:49:00.000-07:00

oooOOOHH~mmmyyYYY~gooOODDD~

can't believe the day has arrived!!!
i'll be heading home few hours from now!!!

mummy!daddy!
i wanna big FAT hug from you♥♥♥

and yea...
during this precious 6-days-back-homeyyy~
im only available for my family!!!
outsiders are strictly prohibited from my life
i just want an undisturbed, peaceful, lovely moments with my beloved family

BYE BYE WORLD!
=)

protein for dinner!

2011-04-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

dinner for tonight...

TADAAA~

baked beans with egg

supposed to eat with bread though

but fungi and mosses have invaded it!!!Grrr~

so i ended up eating this bowl of P.R.O.T.E.I.N

well,supposed to post this long time ago...but...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERICA DEAR!!!♡♡♡

i was really out of idea of what kinda birthday present i should give you

so i ended up cooking a nice dinner for you...

pasta with meatballs, broccoli, eggs and cheeeese!!!

i knew you enjoyed it:)

well, that's about it!

gotta get back to my studies...

i can see everybody has started to show signs and symptoms of pre-exam depression

and it's kinda hard for me to not to be influenced by others...

the stressful atmosphere...

it's radiating!!!

ps...im now super motivated to study whenever i think of going home!

4 daysss moreeeee!

Muahaha~

creepyyy~

2011-04-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

you're never gonna believe this...

i cut my fingers when i was peeling the pumpkin skin!

i lost my wallet!

i fell down in the lecture hall, right in front of all the lecture mates, and lecturer!

sudden change in timetable that causes me to have to ponteng the practical on suture if im going home!

my clerking board has broken into half!

the chair in the cafe that i intended to sit on collapsed!

hot, boiling cup of coffee that spilled all over my body this morning!

GOSH...
these are so creepy!!!
am i imaginating?
don't you think that these are wayyy tooo coincidental?

seriously in need of visiting a Buddha temple in Ipoh and pray for protection!!!
6 days moreeee!!!:)))

Amitabha~

please, i need your protection against this demon of bad luck!

self-motivating

2011-04-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

HELP!!!!!!!!
it's getting harder and harder for me to concentrate
FOCUS, vivian, FOCUS!!!
you have 10 days to maximise your study
so that you will be feathery light when you can finally back homeyyyyyy♥

ever heard of bitter-sweet, dark chocolate?

the bitter comes before the sweet

like now

go go GO

keep FIGHTING for the sake of going home!!!

dear thief,you suck!

2011-04-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

exactly 1 week before my birthday,
i accidentally cut my finger when i was peeling the pumpkin skin.

exactly 1 week after my birthday,
i lost my wallet.

祸不单行ah~

what's next???

* * *

i blamed myself more than blaming the thief
because it's all my fault for being so careless
to leave my bag with all my valuable belongings outside the ward
where crowd of visitors come and go
one of 'em just get so attracted with my cute purple bag
sticking his/her dirty hands into my bag and stole my cute little wallet

wanna know about a secret that i don't even have the guts to tell my mom???
i left my laptop inside that bag too
but the stupid thief didn't notice it!
HA!

* * *

it was my first time
-wallet got stolen
-visit to the police station
-settle and cancel all the ATM Cards by myself

at least i learned something
another step towards a grown-up adult

i keep on telling myself:

one must experience this once in a lifetime

i experienced it when im 20, exactly 1 week after my birthday

and i swear that i'll never let the same damn thing happen again.

need a kick!!!

2011-04-10T04:20:00.000-07:00

Kelantan is a spirit-sucker

it sucks away all my high spirits

like what a dementor did in Harry Potter

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

Oscar Wilde

i think i merely exist in USMkk

im a dead spirit walking inside a living zombie

HAHA

im seriously in need of a booster injection of

MOTIVATION!!!!!

GIVE.ME.BACK

MY.LOVE.FOR.LIFE

MY.BOILING.SPIRIT

MY.ENTHUSIASM

MY.HUMOUR

MY.SMILE

MY.FUN

the only drug that is stronger than PCM:

16 days moreeeee from going homeyyy!!!!^^

Life is too short,

so kiss slowly,

laugh insanely,

and love truly♥

Miss Bunny

2011-04-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

another belated birthday surprise for me last night

LOL

owh~~~she's so cute, not???^^

billions thanks to all my friends who planned the surprise

thanks for the melted, gross-looking but still yummy Secret Recipe's yogurt cheesecake

thanks for the birthday card with heart-tugging messages:')

thanks for this adorable bunny

BUT!!!

im strongly against the tradition of torturing the birthday girl/boy on their big day!!!

i've gulped in concentrated sugar solution and lime juice last night!!!

oh no~my weightT.T

anyway...

my piggy roomie asked whether i was expecting this birthday surprise as they didn't give me any present on the night of my real birthday but only a simple celebration with a mini card+fake cockroach...

honestly telling...NO

maybe because of im stupid

or maybe because of im an easily contented person

im happy to know that my friends cared and celebrated birthday with me

no matter it's a big/small celebration

with/without birthday present

there aren't really important to me

* * *

i've read an interesting article here

Short Sleeper

Short sleepers, about 1% to 3% of the population, function well on less than 6 hours of sleep without being tired during the day. They tend to be unusually energetic and outgoing. Geneticists who spotted a gene variation in short sleepers were able to replicate it in mice -- which needed less sleep than usual, too.

Christopher Jones, a University of Utah neurologist and sleep scientist who oversees the recruiting, says there is one question that is more revealing than anything else: When people do have a chance to sleep longer, on weekends or vacation, do they still sleep only five or six hours a night? People who sleep more when they can are not true short sleepers, he says.

To date, Dr. Jones says he has identified only about 20 true short sleepers, and he says they share some fascinating characteristics. Not only are their circadian rhythms different from most people, so are their moods (very upbeat) and their metabolism (they're thinner than average, even though sleep deprivation usually raises the risk of obesity). They also seem to have a high tolerance for physical pain and psychological setbacks.

"They encounter obstacles, they just pick themselves up and try again," Dr. Jones says.

GOSH

i think i might be one of them...

because even if my alarm clock is off

i can't sleep more than 6 hours per day

and almost every morning i'll wake up before the alarm clock rings=.=

my friends are shocked when they get to know about my sleeping pattern

i get less sleep, yet i seemed more energetic than them

owh no~my gene is mutated

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.

And Today? Today is a gift.

That's why we call it the present.

Babatunde Olatunji

ps, 17days moreee before going home!

bad hair day

2011-04-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a secret:

im slowly getting sick about my hair

because it's growing longer over my shoulder

and it's getting bushier and heavier

if without proper grooming and manual curling

i'll be looking really messy

well, admit it!

im not that kinda girl that is willing to spend most of the time making sure that im constantly looking good/pretty/sexy/attractive...

all i need to do is to make sure that i looked well, tidy and presentable

and most importantly, im comfortable with myself

this is my principle

so despite of people telling me that i'll spoil the shape

you will still be seeing me tie-ing up my hair

into a curly, bunny tail

LOL

at least it makes me feel much more comfortable

dude, why care so much about what other people is thinking?

it's your life, it's your hair, not theirs^^

* * *

ooo look!!!im healing fast!!!=)

* * *

birthday present from erica

adorable huh

birthday present from my NanQuan juniors, with secret meanings

*sweet*

although my birthday has already passed

im still receiving special birthday presents

eg: a box of mixfruits Agar-Agar from my junior Siew Theng

and also 2 boxes of variety of cakes from my PBL mates

*thanks!!!

i didn't take any pics because they're already in my tummy^^

* * *

RIDICULOUS!!!

"Malaysian men have extramarital sex because of 'wives who neglect their responsibilities' to their husbands, a Malaysian lawmaker told Parliament on Thursday, reports AFP."

"Husbands driving home after work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges," said independent lawmaker Ibrahim Ali, as quoted by online portal Malaysiakini.

"But when they come home to their wives, they will say, 'wait, I'm cooking,' or 'wait, I'm getting ready to visit relatives'," Ali said.

"In Islam, wives are supposed to stop everything to fulfill their husband's demands."

Wives failing in their duties pushed men to go to "private places to satisfy their urges", he said.

i was totally speechless after reading this ridiculous remarks on The Star Online...

such a shame!!!

what can you expect from this kinda politician to lead our country???

x,x

* * *

today's a lovely day with a lovely Sun shining through my heart

and feeling peaceful when the gentle breeze blew across my face

counting down the days to go home makes me feel absolutely motivated!!!

18days!!!

lastly...

congrates to all my seniors who managed to pass Professional Exam 2!!!

another step closer to your dream=)))

my life, is not that bad afterall.

;)

11.59pm

2011-04-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

date: 4/4/2011

time: 11.59pm

on the very last minute of my birthday,

im proud to anounce that...

i've turned...

20 YEARS OLD!!!

i was so touched...

celebrating birthday with my "family" in USMkk

one of the most cherishable memory i had so far=)

and thank you so much for the handmade birthday cards and presents

not-so-perfectly-wrapped birthday presents by the guys...

that was cute!^^

and not to forget my girls' gang in my hostel, who were all hidden inside my tiny room, to give me a surprise birthday party!!!

last but not least, thanks to my besties Erica for the Tiramisu Cup!!!

Thanks for celebrating with me even though you had exam the next day:)

so within one night...

i've blown 3 times of birthday candles

and made 3 times of birthday wishes

may all my wishes could come true♥

☆ ☆ ☆

i haven't been touching up with you guys on what happened 2 days before...

for these 3 days, i need to avoid my left hand from contact with water

which means that whenever i need to take a bath

i need to use a plastic bag to wrap up my left hand

like a Doraemon!!!

LOL

but WHY??

this is the answer...

stupid me...

i accidentally cut my hand when i was peeling the pumpkin!!!

for the first time in my life, i saw myself bleeding non-stop!!!

well, the wound wasn't big though, but it should be quite a deep one because no matter how hard i've applied pressure to the wound, no matter how many layers of tissue papers i've used...

it didn't stop bleeding...

the blood just keep oozing out from the wound!

and i'd like to thank my neighbors YinYin and Grace for bringing me to A&E...

if not i'll never thought of that,

i'll just wait for the bleeding to stop and by that time i might have already develop hypovolemic shock!LOL~

initially the doctor told me that the wound need to be sutured in order for the bleeding to stop

Thanks Buddha that the moment before the doctor sewed me up...

the wound stopped bleeding miraculously!!!

i ended up being applied GluStitch, which is some kinda chemical compund having some similar properties as super glue, to stick my flesh back into place=)

trust me, taking bath without using your left hand ain't no easy jobX)

☆ ☆ ☆

happy birthday again Vivian

may all your wishes come true

have a sweet dream^^

the pursuit of happiness

2011-04-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

Nobody really cares if you're miserable,

so you might as well be happy.

~Cynthia Nelms

The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.

~Author Unknown

To be happy,

we must not be too concerned with others.

~Albert Camus, The Fall, 1956

For every minute you are angry,

you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

~Author Unknown

* * *

had a nice conversation with my dad yesterday...

"why everybody seems okay in dealing with their lives here?

why everybody looks happy but me?"

"that's because you tend to concern and worry about everything,

small matters. big matters. everything matters.

don't think too much, don't keep everything to yourself.

if you really miss home, book a flight and go home this coming weekend!"

daddy,

sorry for making you worried about my emotional status

you afraid that i'll turn insane if i continue to live life like this

but i promise, i won't.

because i know that my family loves me

and because i love you:)

i know that you have loads of working stuff to worry about.

and im sorry that i've added more weight into your mind.

so i promise to you that:

~i'll think less

~take things light-heartedly

~and think only of things that will make me happy eg. going home!!!

* * *

my April Fool's gift:

mr cockroach hidden in my pencil case

LOL

i think im getting one step nearer towards one of my new year resolution:

to overcome my fear towards this filthy creature!!!

the Sun will rise

2011-03-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

first of all,
i'd like to apologize for the uneasiness caused by my last post
esp to my friends from USMkk
when i said "MOST of em"
i didn't mean "ALL of you"
because i know SOME of you did care for me ♡,♡

however, to be honest
i really dislike people commenting as anonymous
it gave me sense of insecurity
owh please don't do this to me

* * *

Musculoskeletal Block...
my least favourable system during my first year
and now it will continue to haunt me from next week onwards
heard from my mum that Orthopedic was my uncle Dr. Lai's favourite posting
there must be a very good reason for that

maybe...
during this April Fool Day
im gonna fool myself:
"Musculoskeletal is as delicious as Baskin Robin!!!"
X)

* * *

been reading newspapers daily in the library
everytime i read about the 50 heroes that are risking their lives to save the nuclear plantation from further leakages after the Japanese catastrophic earthquake...
i can't help feeling touched!

deep from my heart...
i wish that 好人有好报
hoping that they will be returning to their family safely after the problems have solved...
you're truly, the heroes of the world

to Japan, the land of the rising Sun

and also to myself:

Don't cry when the sun is gone,

because the tears won't let you see the stars.

~Violeta Parra

you think you know me?^^

2011-03-31T04:29:00.000-07:00

Undeniably,
im starting to worry about revealing too much of my inner-thoughts/true emotions in this blog
like nakedly, exposing myself under the sun
XD

but hold on
what you see in the real-life-me is exactly what you read here
i've got nothing to hide
and i never lied

so i think i'll just continue to blog, freely & happily
despite some anonymous that left me with weird comments
thinking that i was rejected by a guy LOL
"he's not the only fish in the sea..."
that was funny
but i appreciate the concern given:)

well that was a good sign though
that means not every of my readers can guess the true story behind my words

my blog is just like a Sudoku puzzle
it may seems easy
but not necessary so
hehe

* * *

i was so touched
when my bestie asked me when i will be free so that she can gimme a call
she told me that she's worried about me after reading my blog
and she's gonna gimme a call from New Zealand!!!

well...
my friends in my university campus here don't even bother to ask me what happened when they saw the changes in me...
the way i was so depressed,
the way i tried to stay away from the crowd,
the way i kept myself quiet all the time for the past weeks

most of 'em will just discuss among themselves
"what happened to XXX recently arr?"
then they will bury their head into the Pathogenesis of Diabetes Mellitus
the only thing that they cared

im not comparing
merely emotionally fluttered
by the truth of reality

a true friend

even though you're millions of miles away from me

you are the best gift God has given to me♥

who are you?

2011-03-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

i hate myself for being such a pessimist lately...
when i tried to squeeze out a smile in front of my friends
when i tried to make myself sounds cheerful
when i tried to fill in the darkest hole inside my heart with lecture notes, novels & dramas
when i filled this blog with pathetic posts
i hate it.

i miss home, so SO much
till i don't actually feel like ringing home
because i can feel the gap widening whenever we talk
it hurts.

i love you
i miss you
daddy & mummy

i really wanna go home
but i can't
the flight tickets are too expensive
plus a heavy Musculoskeletal Block coming up
and many more unsettled matters over here
oh when can i be free from all these?

i don't feel like myself anymore
and i feel like crying:(

stop being such a baby

will you?

another sleepless night

2011-03-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

if i ever knew that it will hurt so much...
i'll not dive in, so deeply...

flowing in the river

2011-03-25T00:38:00.000-07:00

my eyes are filled with tears
so full that it had blurred my vision
secretly telling you that it flowed down once
when my lower lids couldn't bear the weight anymore

only once...
it flowed across my cheeks
running across the tip of my nose
reaching my lips
i tasted it
bitter.

then
i made a promise to myself
to never, ever shed a tear
not in front of anyone, at least.

i'll just close my eyes,

tilt my head,

let it flows into my heart.

sharing❤

2011-03-23T04:09:00.000-07:00

this is so true...

vanish~

2011-03-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

For once in my lifetime, I wish I could vanish into thin air

Out of sight

Out of mind

Close my eyes

Cover my ears

Shut my mouth

***

I think I might have acquired immunity and tolerance

Because I can no longer feel the pain

Even if my heart is actively bleeding

What drains together with the blood is my soul

Leaving behind an empty shell

***

Humans complexity had scared me to death

Maybe its just me

Being too ignorant

Too silly

To keep on believing in simplicity

***

No, you cant find me

You cant see me either

Bye