dream big,start small

Here comes the end of the first week of Communicable Disease Block, I have learnt everything from bacterial/viral diarrhoea to biosecurity agents like Anthrax. I enjoyed all the learnings from lectures, clinical teachings, PBLs...But at the same time feeling the tension slowly building when my lecture notes start piling up,which supposed to be a very normal phenomenon...Guess maybe i've become unfamiliar with "pressure" after staying in latency period for too long...Nevermind! I will be gaining back my resistance within no time!=)

Im currently trying to hard to improve on my clinical skills, because deep down inside i know that it has always been my problem, and i've been hiding away from it. So from this semester onwards, Im gonna face the fear, I don't wanna become a doctor that have all the medical knowledges but sucks at clinical skills. Im gonna clerk more patients, to overcome my fear of approaching and talking to patients, taking their medical history and performing physical examinations, most importantly be more confident. Good news is i've made my first big step and it turns out great!=)

Sometimes, it's just hard not to feel lonely. Since there's no way to avoid it, Im learning how to embrace it. It's not that i don't have friends, the only thing is that they just can't ALWAYS be there for you...Same thing, actually i shouldn't be feeling this way because i've been experiencing this in my 2nd year. Anyways, I know there's nothing wrong at all for being alone, im feeling more free even! And I know im not alone for being alone, if you get what i meanX)

My handphone has been declared "battery dead" since last night. Thank you for serving me faithfully in these 3 years! Even though Sony Ericsson phone has quite a bad reputation on short lasting period, but i need to tell you the truth that i've dropped my phone for umpteenth times but it still have perfect functions and lasts long enough for me! A special thanks to my friend JiaRong for lending me his spare black-and-white handphone to last till i can go back home and buy a new one. Hhmmm~ I gotta apologise to my parents for making them worried about me because i didn't call back home for 2 days! And i deserved the "Howler" from my mum in facebookXD

I think that's about it, my grandmother story! Sometimes i do prefer to write in paragraphs, like the traditional way of essay-writing, better way to express my feelings^^

It's a weekend!
Im gonna indulge and treat myself a movie tonight!
Then, buckle up my feelings for a focused, better tomorrow;)

dream big

start small

lil thought(s)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...22!!!

22 days before going home=]

im missing my family already

like so badly

♡

my "ancient" handphone has gone hay-wired...

the most that i could talk with my parents is 10 minutes

after this it will be burning my ears and fingers

and the conversation will be cut off automatically

oh dear...

i wish we could stick to each other longer

but,i really gotta change you!

xP

my dream phone>>>Samsung S2^^

mom told me that there's now an offer of installment ~RM50 per month for 3 years...

i promise i'll cut down my expenses over here to save RM50 each month...

hehe

♡

found a recipe that i wish to try out today!!!

owh im SO missing my oven at home...

♡

YAY~

communicable disease block will be starting next week!

can't wait to resume my medical studies=)

in the same time meaning that by next week i should STOP honeymoon-ing and drama-movie-novel-magazine marathon!!!

erm...let me rephrase it,instead of torturing and restraining myself from all these entertainments that you could ever find in the "jungle",im gonna treat myself better by doing it in a moderate way muahaha:D

♡

its 10pm...

trying to sleep more while i still can...

Nightey everyone

^^V

learning to live=)

its a leisure afternoon
just had a packet of nasi lemak FOC!!!
ooops i actually paid RM10 for that=.=


RM10(because im one of the AJK)
=seminar on "public speaking" by a super lame speaker+symposium+Course Night of Faculty of Medicine
=3 merit points


for non-committees,your charge will be RM30!!!
not everybody could afford this don't ya think...
but you'll be surprised by the merit points-obsessive crowd
because no merits=no hostel
this is the equation


this ends up...


christian people attending buddhist society's AGM
buddhist people attending christian fellowship's AGM
wushu people attending taekwando club's meeting
everybody turning up in whatever event that grant merit points
they turned up,signed attendence,stay for 5 minutes and leave
FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!
THIS IS SO UGLY!!!
WHO THE HELL CREATED THIS MERIT SYSTEM???

*     *     *

Amitabha~
Sorry for the yelling just now,i promise that this will be the last time of me losing myself to furious-ness. I've been borrowing self-help books from the library recently,and attended Dhamma talk organised by Buddhist Society,although i wasn't able to attend every dhamma classes due to CFCS,i did learn alot from the 2 hours of talk. 


things that worth pondering:
-Everything in life changes(无常).
-Don't be over-obsessed by money and material things.
-Those material thingy can't bring you true happiness.
-Do not deny anything absolutely,be flexible.
-The way to true happiness is to understand the meaning of life.
-Do not let your vision be clouded by $$,earn it through the right way that benefit others.
-Instead of spending your whole life in chasing $$,we should just earn enough for a living.
-For the rest of the time,spend it with your family/loved ones.
-Spend some time to upgrade your inner-self.
-Cherish,those who're still with you.
-Let go,when the time comes,because if there's life,there's death.


These are what i understood and learned from the Dhamma talk by 继持法师.These are really powerful thoughts,at least it changes the way i think and act now,and it makes me a better,happier person:)


Oh i also mentioned about those self-help books i borrow from library right?Nope im not suffering from any dilemma etc,merely wish to make good use of the leisure time now to strengthen my mind,and inner-self,don't think i'll have time reading these books once Communicable Disease Block starts...So,"S.U.M.O" is a really motivational book,it actually stands for Shut Up,Move On! I haven't finished reading it yet,cz wanna digest the information slowly into my head.Hehe! The book that i've finished and enjoyed reading was "The 100 simple secrets of Happy People",it consisted of short stories,and evidence-based research on how you can live happily.


I wanna be a better person than yesterdays
YAY!!!:D

thanks for the memories

drizzling rain outside my window
the weather is so cooling
and im in a semi-conscious state
ready to fall asleep by any second
but NOT before i've finished blogging about this:)

this post is specially dedicated to my beloved club in USMkk...

Thanks for playing a BIG part in my 2nd year in university. 

You made my life busy like hell yet so fruitful and satisfying. 


You snatched away most of my study time, just enough to teach me how to appreciate and make good use of the precious time left.


There were times when i was so angry and frustrated,only through this i've learnt how to manage my emotion and not let everything to be displayed for public. 


Once,you took away my dignity and i felt like giving up,but you made me realize that life has to move on,i finally found my courage and the spirit to make a good fight. 


Serving with you in this whole year was indeed an eye-opener,i was never good in judging between good or bad,but now i think i have a much better "eyesight". 


I have always thought that love is a wonderful thing that you'll never have enough,but you made me see that over-pouring love could bring destruction.The worst part is,when you love truly and deeply,you'll be hurt deeper and longer.


Lastly,you've definitely made me a stronger person,mentally.Im still keeping a strong faith and belief that,the good shall ALWAYS win.And now i believe in myself more than anybody else.

You made me smile.
You made me laugh.
You made me cry.


But no matter what,you're still a beautifully crafted piece of memory which i will be keeping till the end of my life. Im truly happy accepting the fact that im passing this great responsibility to the next generation,in the meantime feeling sad that we could no longer directly contribute to you anymore.Believe me,when a group of people are sharing the same vision of making something better,and together we made a difference,it feels amazing.

We've tried our best and have no regrets.
Its your turn now=)

urticaria!!!

For those who have no idea about urticaria:
It is commonly known as hives, which are raised, often itchy, red welts on the surface of the skin. They are usually an allergic reaction to food or medicine.


i've been having this bad urticaria for 3 days!!!
it wasn't my first time though
it actually happens whenever there's a change in environment
in this case: coming back to my university after the 3 months break at home

grabbed this from the internet...

but my skin does look like this, all over my body!!!

looked horrible isn't it?T.T

anyway,  i went to the student clinic yesterday, hoping that the doctor will give me an anti-histamine shot which will curb the allergy instantaneously. Unfortunately, that doctor said that i can only get the shot at A&E if my symptoms worsen and involve my airway, causing difficulty in breathing wo...in the meantime, i can only take anti-histamine pills to reduce the itch. Don't ask me what im allergic to, cz i've no idea! But the doctor said its in my gene=.=


the problem is...the pills isn't strong enough to relieve my itchiness as it only work for short hours...plus its side effect of causing drowsiness making me sleepy all the time...plus, the maximum dosage for each day is only 3 pills!!! The doctor said: NOT TO SCRATCH!!!as the scratching will stimulate more histamine release...but its easier to be said than done...


im praying hard to Buddha to speed up my recovery and end my suffering...

say NO!!!

sorry,i don't mean to be rude


just frustrated...


promises were dumped like a garbage


heartbroken

why can't you quit


once and for all

"whether you believe you can, 

or you believe you can't,

either way you're right."

just an update

first of all...
HAPPY  BIRTHDAY TO MY USMkk MARSHMALLOW
HUI DI^^


just a lil bit of latest updates on my life...


のBioethics block finally ended!!!will be followed by 3 weeks of CFCS...study life would be guaranteed boring!!!good news is i will have plenty of time to revise back 2nd year notes,yet still have so much time to watch movies,dramas and read magazine...bad news is we're wasting 1 month++ of time in the campus learning nothing more than "how to break bad news" or "pre and post-test HIV counseling"...


のGOSH my handy is dying...i thought i can use it for another year,but its battery swelled up like ascites!after undergoing battery transplantation,i thought i could prolong its lifespan for at least a year,who knows it will turned hyperthermic(HOT!) after few minutes of chat with my mum...good news is i can FINALLY have a new android phone,hopefully...bad news is $$$ goneT.T


のwas learning origami from the net today and found out that its another addictive hobby!i can practically spent hours just to fold a paper cake!!!


のim SO happy and contented with my life right now,i love my room and my new roomie...im gonna admit that i was feeling worried that i might be left out from my gang of friends since i stay in another hostel which is different from the rest of them...but now i realise that whenever a friendship is cherished it shall never fade just because of trivial matters...FRIENDS are my only valuable asset that keeps my life going on here in USMkk...


のi've borrowed a book named "The 100 simple secrets of Happy People" from the library...just thinking that its time to do a bit of self-motivating and enlightening when im free to do so...if not,when the major block like Communicable Disease comes,there will be no time for me to adjust my mood...thought that im a cheerful person?yes,from the outside;not really,from the inside,im needing guidance and on the way to achieve true happiness and satisfaction...


のi think i need to always remind myself that there's NO MORE honeymoon-ing in 3rd year!!!we will have t face Professional Exam 2 in the May 2012!!!owh~better go to sleep and study MORE each day,starting from tomorrow!!!hehe

im grateful that Buddha has always by my side

and answering my prayer

lending a hand whenever i needed it

this time

i hope that Buddha can answer my prayer too

night(:

my baking diary♥

one week has passed since i returned to my university campus
life's still can be considered as free and easy
as the lecture notes are not that heavy, yet
and most extra-curricular activities are not back on track...

except this!!!
Intervarsity Wushu Championship 2011
dear readers, if you're a wushu lover, please don't hesitate to follow the link above!!!

well...where was i???
ooyea, i was telling you that im enjoying my free time now
and...just wanna rewind my memory back to my hols...
im presenting my baking diary

♥     ♥     ♥     

I've tried 10 different bakings during my 3 months holiday. Im not sure since when i've acquired the passion but i think it might be TV's influence...HAHA...Because of my favourism towards food channel, my ultimate fav would be Australia's Masterchef!!!^^ I love baking, simply because i enjoy every lil steps of it. And for every lil steps taken, i will ensure that im putting in every pieces of my heart. I will also try my best to make the best presentation of my food because this delivers my tender, loving, care(TLC) towards whom that taste my food. Baking, it takes a lot of focus, patience and care and lots of time and money as well...But at the end of the day, when your baking becomes a success, every effort is worth it. However, life is not a bed of roses, there were times when my baking came out as a failure. When this happens, it challenges your acceptance of failure, your determination and fighting spirit. As for myself, when the food that i prepared came out as a failure, i will search the whole universe(the internet!^^) for the answer and solution, then i'll try again till i succeed. Although baking is my top hobby, but i do cook other types of food as well eg. western dishes like pasta, roasted chicken and eastern dishes learned from my beloved mum. In a nutshell, all cookings carry the same theory: when you put your heart into it, people can taste it:)

~Apple Pie~

 ~Chocolate Cheese Cake~

 ~Sandy Hazelnut Gelato~

 ~Cinnamon Roll~

 ~Banana Cake~

~Banana Cupcakes~

 ~Cheese Tarts~

 ~Chocolate with Hazelnut Brownies~

 ~Baked Banana Cheese Cake~

 ~Bread Pudding~

Owh...After doing this review, im feeling SO hungry and im missing my oven SO much! And also the "fans" of my food: my family!!!^^ (although sometimes i may kinda pressured them to give good comments on my food LOL) And maybe, after i've gained enough cooking experience, or when i have time to do so, i may create another blog specifically for my cooking diary!hehe

Ok, enough of rewinding...it's time to travel back to the present and start to work hard for your future...Hhmmm, when mentioning about my future...Maybe i could open a bakery just next to my clinic, which sell only healthy whole-grain bread and pastries with no added preservatives, and not to forget gluten-free bread for my allergic patients...

*slap slap* 

study first, lah~

XD

kick-start of the 3rd year of my university life

greetings world!!!=D

yep im finally back to my university campus, a.k.a back to where i should belong, where i shall continue the unfinished, which is my medical studies. of course there's a lil bit of unfamiliar feelings towards everything esp after the 3 months' break, eg. new roomie...lecture hall...hospital...even friends!!! but im trying my best to adapt, adjust and kick away the hols mood...


basically what i've done for these few days after coming back is to "kepoh" with long-time-no-see university mates! from the latest hairstyle, to holiday trips, to new couples, to weight gain bla-bla-bla...this 3 months interval has definitely accumulate enough topic for us to discuss for days and nights...


my first block for my 3rd year MD is Bioethics and Communication Skills, which is the useless dullest topic of all!!! plus a not-so-enthusiastic lecturer giving us skip-as-much-slides-as-you-can lectures, it will definitely be 2 boring weeks...so most of us are starting to do some revision on our 2nd year lectures, esp after what we've done nothing during the hols! besides this, we're also preparing for our 2nd Residency of our CFCS a.k.a "masuk kampung" programme. Just had our first meeting yesterday to combine and analyse the datas gained from our previous residency, and im disappointed that some of our group members are still as lazy uncooperative as 3 months before. C'mon, i thought holidays are supposed to keep us refreshed, recharged, and motivated??? Somehow, perhaps its just me, that im holding my own principle too tightly, i was trying to make a change which i think will be beneficial for our group's progression. But now, after seeing how people react towards my act, i decided to blind myself and LEARN to accept things/people that refused or cannot be changed.


Nonetheless, i went for jogging and found out that there's a new jogging track! will definitely try it someday...and i returned to my wushu family! paid a visit to my wushu juniors while they are practising for the upcoming Wushu Demo Night+AGM(GAMBATEH!!!^^) when i was studying in the library, jogging or having my lunch at cafeterias, there are a lot of new faces but i don't know any of them. time flies~~~ i was once one of them, but now im the oldies unfriendly-looking 3rd year senior to them...well,till they really know me!!haha:)


lecture is gonna start in half an hour time, better get prepared and move now!

stay tuned for more interesting encounters!

LOL

12/12 of my hols

FINALLY~
here comes the end of my blissful 12 weeks holiday...


Can't help feeling sad and depressed
counting down the hours left to stay with my family
thinking of detaching myself from home 

fighting with tears from rolling down
so broken-hearted
T.T


but daddy was right!
what are you guys gonna do if your holiday never ends?
where do you guys wanna be if you don't wanna return to our university life?
these 2 simple questions did let me ponder for quite sometime
and had given me some wake-up call...


we're not living in Neverland
where Peter Pan never grows up


we just need to accept the reality
that is...
enough for the holiday!
return and embark your new semester year of medical studies!
embrace your university life with enthusiasm!courage!determination!

Let's have a new fresh start of the 3rd year of my medical course!

im gonna kick-start it with positive attitude and fighting spirit!

kick-off the blues!

and welcome the new semester with yellow sunshine!

everybody lets do the same!

JIAYOU AH!!!^^