random scribbling~

Good evening folks!

There's another loooong weekend for Kelantan again, credited to our Malay friends for this 4 days in a row Haji holiday:)  However, as we're turning into adults and carry more responsibility, as in a medical student in clinical year, holiday don't really feel like holiday anymore because we still need to go for oncalls, OTs and cover cases in wards. But i don't think that its a bad thing either, can u imagine just sitting in the room and studying orthopedic for 4 days??? Learning from the patients is much more interesting and efficient than reading textbook, this is really true! Even at times i may feel lazy to lift up my butt to go to ward, but i will never regret when i got back to my room after that=)

So the first week of Orthopedic posting has ended. What can i say? Its another nice posting to me, but not awesome YET, maybe because its just the first week. Im really lucky to have a nice supervisor and an examiner whom according to senior, is quite Benign, if you can understand what i mean, haha! I witnessed the first orthopedic operation and everything was just so cool! LOL~ Im sorry, i think i might need to hide some of my excitement but OT is definitely a place that i'll never grow bored.

Ooyea! Another thing worth mentioning is that one of my best friend from KMPh-Mr CY will spend 3 months of practical for his Pharmacy course here in my campus! So happy to see him, and nothing has really changed! We went for dinner together and also with Angie and her friend, so we get to know new friends while having a reunion at the same time:)  That was a nice dinner and funny chatter to catch up on each other's life, shall come out "yumcha" again before he leaves!haha!

Its all about Italian for this weekend!!!

Creamy mushroom shell pasta with sweet peas^^

Okay, shall rest earlier today. More challenges to be faced in the coming days, weeks and years...But who cares? The future is so uncertain that everything we planned will never happen the way they should be, so STOP worrying about the future and live in the Now, don't live in the Future, and don't ever live in the Past either...

good night=)

the end of Surgery posting

Greetings from me:)
Although Kelantan is immersed by rainy season these days
but I hope that your mood is not as grey as the sky out there

"When one has a lot of mindfulness it's like going out into a garden in the brilliant sunshine. It's energising, it's beautiful. There's a lot of energy and happiness there. If one can develop that mindfulness, that brightness of the mind, and then focus it on a small part of the world, then one sees deeply into the nature of that. The experience of bright and focused awareness is wonderful and amazing! You see much more beauty than you ever imagined.

So this is a useful simile for mindfulness: turning up the lights of the mind. One becomes more deeply aware because one actually starts to sustain mindfulness on one thing instead of letting mindfulness go all over the place. When that happens, mindfulness illuminates that object and builds up its own energy. One really starts to "see" into something very deeply and wonderfully!"

~Ajahn Brahm~

Well this is such a great way to start a new blog post!

by sharing of some words of wisdom by some great spiritual teacher:)

 ♥      ♥      ♥

Another 3 weeks have passed since my previous update! I'd love to post update in every weekends but i can hardly find enough free time to compose. Now, at last, after my end posting exam for Surgery im having a short weekend break before entering Orthopaedic posting!

Group photo taken with our Surgery posting coordinator, Dr Nizam(sat just behind me) right after the end posting exam.

So im feeling so grateful and fortunate to have such nice, cooperative and mostly hardworking group members for my remaining clinical years. My senior was right when he told me that Surgery is indeed a good start because it creates enough pressure and momentum for you to start off Clinical Year, yet you won't feel too stressful as compared to other scarier posting such as O&G. The most important thing is that Surgery department in HUSM has lots of awesome specialists, MO's and registrars who were mostly very keen to teach! In spite of their hectic workload, they still care for the patients whole-heartedly and that was such an inspiring scene to see, not forgetting to mention that they were really helpful in teaching and clearing our doubts and sometimes stupid questions. Haha! Really, i can't feel thankful enough for them:)

From this year onwards, our MD exams are no longer the same as what we used to have from 1st-3rd year. If you never fulfill your responsibility of clerking the cases in wards, read the patient's folder and ask questions during ward rounds or clinical teaching, you might not be able to tackle the end posting exam efficiently, simply because you really don't have much free time to study in your room anymore! I also learned that by seeing the real patients, my knowledge does impinged deeper in my memory when compared to seeing at the photos of patients inside the textbook. Although going to the ward and clinics were tiring, but somehow i regain my spirit shortly after seeing the patients. And i actually had my first experience of Scrubbing-in to assist during my first OT, and it was a case of Hernioplasty. I still remembered the doctor gave me an opportunity of feeling the deep inguinal ring by inserting my finger into it and feel for the bowels. Oh how much i will miss this exciting, energetic and ever interesting posting!

Nevertheless, im looking forward to the next posting--> Orthopaedic! Lets hope for the best=)

                                                  ♥      ♥      ♥

Credited to Angie, today we had an opportunity to follow a kind and compassionate doctor to do free clinic and house-calls. The free clinic was held at a forest monastery so it was a BONUS for us to visit the monastery, paying respects and learning dhamma from Maechee and Bhante over there! When there was no patients to be treated, we just helped around in the chores of the monastery like gardening and moving sand for constructions. Such a well day spent at doing charity and serving others, for me its a great way to reduce the sense of Self. This forest monastery was built over a cemetery area, well-kept, full of flowers and trees and full of Dhamma=nature.The moment we stepped on the ground, we were just feeling so peaceful and calm. This is the reason why i don't feel like stopping in learning the Dhamma, because of the calm, feeling at ease and the peaceful mind. Our minds can work wonder if you know the way of cultivating it towards wholesomeness. Im just a beginner in Buddhism and very keen to learn more and more Dhamma:)

A forest monastery near Tanah Merah

                                               ♥      ♥      ♥

                     Last but not least, its always my Cooking Day in weekends!^^

                  Taco wraps with omelette with fresh capscicum and salad greens. 

Peanut and dried scallops porridge with pickled "choy sum"

I'm back,for good!hehe

Hi guys!!!

I'm back, finally...

Sorry for the abandonment in the past few months

because my 3 months of hols were too fruitful and packyyy~

Erm, quite lazy to blog about my hols as it has become the past

and as a Buddhist we should always live in the NOW

but if some of my readers are interested

i might be able to summarize everything into few sentences

I've made alot of travellings, which included Makassar(South Sulawesi of Indonesia), Taiwan, and Bali...Sight-seeings were fun, but no doubt tiring!!! Besides, of course, I've tried out alot of recipes and did alot of cookings whenever I'm free at home, which I've posted most of my culinary babes in my facebook album^^On top of all these, the thing that is most worthy of mentioning is: I've went for a few retreats at Vihara Buddha Gotama(VBG) and Dhammapiti Monastery. If you never heard of the word "retreat" before, its actually a simple stay at the monastery to practice meditation, learning the most precious Dhamma from great teacher there, and also to keep the eight precepts. So! This is the most well-spent holiday ever in my life!:D

Now, lets just talk about the present...

To be frank, I was facing such a depressive mode for a few days just before I need to return to my university to continue pursuing my medical degree, and i believe this is simply due to holiday-overdose LOL!!! The thought of me entering Clinical year with such a major posting=> Surgery as my kick-start, a part of me just wished to stay at my comfy home forever and go for dana offering every Saturday with my family!!! However, fortunately another part of me knew that we weren't taught to be irresponsible, thanks to the on-going encouragements and reminders from my spiritual teachers. Yes, indeed, running away from reality is not the way. We should face everything with courage, whether they are good or bad, to learn and understand what is life.

The first week of Clinical year was indeed SUFFERING!!! Holding such a thick logbook in my hands, where we were told to clerk and fill in 80 different cases, observe/assist in 20 OTs, attend 12 oncalls and attend 6 clinics, perform many procedures and observe many endoscopes, preparations of student seminars  etc etc...Everyday is just too hectic and I don't even have time to stop and look at what actually Im doing right then!I was just feeling so lost and frustrated and sometimes, the thought of quitting might flash through like a lightning, but luckily it doesn't stay. My mind keeps on reminding me to be strong and endure whatever difficulties and stressful situations I will be facing.

That was about the initial phase, and now I've been "working" in Surgery Ward for 3 weeks, and you know what? I simply fall in love with this kinda clinical life! See, how fast can your mind and perception changes, impermanence~haha!! 

Yes, life is indeed super busy as I need to get up at 6am and go to the ward at 7am to clerk newly admitted patients every morning, after that follow the specialists and doctors to do morning ward rounds, followed by clinical teachings, Operation Theatre(OTs), clinics or endoscopes. With starving tummy, we are often late for lunch and there will be nothing good left for us in the Cafeteria, later then followed my student seminars or topic discussions, and lastly oncall for alternate day. This kinda life is AWESOMELY tiring because after seeing the patients and treating them, lastly discharging them with newly regained good health, this is such a wonderful job isn't it? Of course, in the meantime we're not eligible to treat anyone yet, but the greatest satisfaction comes from the knowledge that I learned from the doctors, doesn't matter they're just MOs or specialists. I'm learning so much everyday, both from the patients and also from the doctors.

Wow, I'd better stop here and hit my bed earlier!Surgery is a posting where we need to study everything from head to toes that require surgical management. And so free time is precious and I shall read more to expand my pool of knowledge and skill, not to impress anyone but for the sake of helping and relieving pain of my future patients.

Hope you all enjoyed reading my post after such a long gap from my previous sharing...

Before bidding good night, this is a warm home-cooked lunch which I cooked during last weekend:

Butter herb rice with Chicken and Capscicum♥

quick share of life and dhamma=)

Just some quick shares:)

this 3 1/2 weeks of revision week for Professional 2 exam so far has been a fruitful one!

in spite of just studySTUDYSTUDY

we were lucky enough to have the chance to do some dana offering at Mettarama...

and of course, listening to Dhamma=)

Mettarama means "loving kindness".

It's a Buddhist association centre in KB where monks will come for visit, dana offering and giving Dhamma talks...

It's indeed a lovely place filled with lovely people...

those uncle aunties from Mettarama are such nice souls!!!

im feeling close to home when we're there chatting together and help them washing dishes and clean up after dana sessions...

 Im really feeling HAPPY and GRATEFUL to meet these great teachers of Dhamma!

The upper left was the most respected Long Phor Liem,

while the upper right was Ajahn Siripanno.

If you're not so familiar with Ajahn Siripanno, he's actually the only son of Ananda Krishnan, the 2nd richest man in SEA!!! 

But despite this, he chose to become a monk, what an inspirational model for Buddhist around the world, not?:)

Selanjar 3 exam result has been released few days ago
and I managed to get a satisfying result=)
that may act as a motivational source for me to continue striving for Pro2!

But there's another great source of motivation:

The Buddha is said to be the best physician in the world.

As his disciples we are physicians for the heart and mind.

You're studying to be a physician for the body, and maybe intellect. :)

~sharing of wise words from Bhante Hye

After long case examination=)

Dear readers!!!
long time no see
life's been busy as usual 
and that's why...

just some quick updates from me:
I just finished my selanjar3 exam about two weeks ago
Well i think i did okay, no regrets cause i've tried my best
but the study week was the most suffering period!!!

Let's have a look~

~MY WAR ZONE~

and this shall be my war zone once again till my Profesional 2 exam finishes at 29th May!!!

but overall i love this study environment=)

and you know what???

my birthday fell on the study week, AGAIN!!!

So my marshmallow aka angel aka ERICA decided to celebrate birthday early with me=)

Thankful to have this great friend to pull me out(temporarily) from the misery of studying...

HAHA

and when i become stressful enough, the spontaneous me decided to cook a great nutritious meal to treat myself...

who else can treat you better than you yourself?

and what food is best for your brain???

DHA from salmon of course...

proudly present to you:

pan-seared salmon with poached pear

This year the Indian Cultural Night fell on the study week too...

my USM besties aka mountain pig aka GEOK XIN and I had our first ever experience of wearing Saree...

millions thanks to Rubeni for this^^

Well, looking at all these pics may give you a false impression on how i was "enjoying" throughout the study week, but in reality, I do suffered from a significant level of stress! The only difference is that this time, I have  found ways to overcome and reduce the stress, and optimise my study capacity(hopefully)...


Then, after finished my selanjar3 exam, of course, is my HOMEY time!!!

Missing my family so much:)

After a weekend retreat back home, I came back to campus only to face with more extra challenges and hectic weeks of Clinical Block, where we need to clerk new and fresh cases each day and to present case to the doctor the next day. However, though it was a busy week but surprisingly I found it exciting and enjoyable, the most important thing is that I was able to learn more and improve my clinical skills from those real patients that I've clerked=)

Next, I have to face another BOMB: Long case examination!!! which finally ends today;)...I was lucky enough to get a not-so-difficult case of patient with Dengue Fever, and Im absolutely grateful to have 2 super kind and willing-to-teach examiners;) Though I did not perform PE smoothly and answer their questions perfectly, but personally I think that I've clerked a good history HAHA C'mon who cares about the marks anymore as long as I can learn! It's better to make mistakes now and learn from it than making mistakes when you're working as a HO or MO right?:)

So that's why I gave myself a permission to linger around here for a while just to give some touch-ups with my life, can't help feeling relieved after the long case examination=)

Lastly, life now has been blissful and blessed by Dhamma:)

Currently I need to focus on revision for Professional 2 exam...
Bye and see you when Im free to blog again
or when Im too stressed up
x)

You can!!!

Owh dear please wake me up from this hot and sleepy afternoon!!!X)


Sorry I'm here just to ramble and rant while taking a short break...
Can't stay for long, because...

I HAVE NO MORE TIME TO LOSE!!!
MOUNTAIN HIGH OF NOTES NEED TO BE REVISED!!!

Hhmmpph!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Nothing beats my determination...

Don't underestimate your  heart

As long as you want something

And decided to put all your heart into achieving it

There's nothing in this world that is  impossible to reach

Sharing with all my dear friends who are also working hard for exam

Ganbatte:)

live for yourself

After learning dhamma, I've learnt to live moment by moment, enjoying every seconds of my life, and am no longer live the life of others, nor chasing other people's target or dreams. I learnt that life could, indeed be as light as a feather, and that heavy burdens are merely self-creations. 

Finally finished studying the last lecture note of O&G Block, which officially signifies the starting of my revision. Just as you know, my semester exam will come in less than 3 weeks time, closely followed by my Professional Exam 2. And miraculously, Im not feeling any stressful or anxious! Hmm, not sure whether if it's a good sign, but at least I can read and study and memorise facts happily and efficiently=)

Been spending half of my day sitting at a corner in the library, studying... 

And when Im bored, I took pics and edit it using my new found fave apps^^

This app is so user-friendly and addictive!

Especially for those who love cute stuffs like me:)

Some sharing of my memories with dhamma:

Listening dhamma talk from bhante...Freed fishes to the river...Prepared flower bouquet for offering to the Buddha...Chanting and meditating with bhante...

and trust me, this is not gonna be the end, just the beginning;)

Lastly

♥ ❤ ♥

真正的快乐

我心中法喜充满，怀抱着满满的感谢

感恩在大三的我有缘遇见一位好老师

让我领悟正确的生活方式

解答了我对人生的疑惑

学会如何快乐地生活

给了我心中的依靠

感恩我曾经所做的善业

让我这一生能够皈依佛法僧三宝

终于懂得如何当一位佛教徒

感恩能够遇见一班同修

可以互相提醒，研究佛法

一起修功德

我真的万万都不会想到

佛法会对我人生带来了这么大的转变

也因为我的亲身经历

我希望能够引导我身边的知心好友

但能不能够接受也得看各人的业障

所以我并没有强迫

一切随缘

在此想与大家分享这几天和师父结缘的快乐

托师父的福报，我们每一餐都把肚子填得饱饱地

生平第一次插花。。。

师父说插花看花多了，

心里就会想到花，就会自然的想到美丽的事情，

心也会随着变漂亮。。。

真高兴师父称赞我们插的花很漂亮

 之后师父带我们到站佛寺院那里供养我们所插的花给佛陀

还带领了我们一起放生鱼儿

 同修们，愿我们能保持这颗信仰佛陀的心

感谢有你们！当然还有其他没有在照片里的同修。。。

愿我能够永远保持这颗信仰佛陀的心

如果有一天我远离了佛教

希望同修们能唤醒我

或师父会及时出现来打救我

哈哈

但佛教教导我们

不要活在过去

也不要太过担心或计划未来

最重要是懂得活在当下

the present is your present, a gift:)

觉得我的人生从来没有感觉过这么的自在

终于能明白什么是发自内心的快乐

真的，快乐不在别人身上

而是在你自己的心

也愿大家能早日体会到我的快乐

sadhu~ sadhu~ sadhu~

living under the social stigma

HI WORLD

somehow i just had a sudden inspiration to blog about the most common emotional conflict among teenage girls...

guess what?

BINGO

that is: body image

Lets start off by telling you a bit of my own childhood and teenage experience...

Since primary school, I had never been an attractive girl. I was fat, with round tummy, wore HarryPotter-rounded-specs, yea, basically all you can see from me is R.O.U.N.D., almost like Winnie the Pooh i guess. My parents even told me that other relatives used to sympathize me because of my, well, honestly saying, ugliness. And that continues up to my secondary school, although I've lost some weight due to hectic activities and tuitions, but yet I was still viewed by others as "fei po". Along those years, I was being made jokes at, being laughed and criticized but I never try to bother that too much. Because my secondary school was an unisex, my girlfriends won't boycott me because of my size, I was utmost grateful for that:)

However, I started to see reality when i entered matriculation, the time when I started to mingle more with the opposite sex. I figured out a simple rule: you can get whatever you want as long as you're sexy, slim, pretty and attractive. I was frustrated. But luckily I met a bunch of true friends, whom to them, nothing beats the true friendship:) Ever since I entered matriculation, I've dropped kilos without even being on diet, mainly because it was my first experience of studying away from home and all those culture shocks that shaken some of my weights off.

Then, happily, confidently and enthusiastically, I entered my medical school, USMkk. A place where pretty girls got all the attention and hi's whilst those average-looking girls don't even deserve a bye's...Well, maybe I was being a lil bit exaggerated but this is sadly, the truth. Perhaps this has been ALWAYS the truth of reality, its just that I was trying to ignore it throughout my life. Although I never overheard people commenting about my appearance, but I did heard some really harsh comments coming out from the mouth of some guys that I knew, and who knows whether I was also the poor victim when they were chatting with others? 

Nevertheless, I've been living among this USMkk community for 3 years. From 64kg during my childhood, Im now weighing 50kg, and Im not ashamed at all. The main reason for my weight loss is mostly due to healthy diet and exercise. And I have been maintaining this weight without losing more because Im practising a healthy lifestyle. I feel healthy and happy with my body shape, although Im not as slim as those magazine models. I snacked on cookies occasionally and treat myself some ice-cream when Im feeling happy. I eat chocolate when I craved for it.

The issue here is, guys out there, yes, YOU!!! You guys tend to assume every girls should weigh less than 50kg. You laughed and made jokes of them when you get to know how much that girl weighed. C'mon, should girls also assume that every guys have six perfectly trained abs? Stop judging how a girl looks or what size she wears, will you? We girls never discussed about your protruding tummy or your non-muscular thin biceps because we can see you more than that, we prefer to judge a guy from the inside. No offense here, but yea, i think guys are practically blind, as they only choose to see pretty face on the surface, ignoring the kind heart deep within...

nah guys...

your dream girl, definitely weigh less than 50kg

GIRLS!!!

STOP being obsessive with your body weight or size or shape...

you deserve an enjoyable & happy life

not living over guilt because of the fear of eating one piece of cookie

love yourself

love your body

they are given out of love by your parents

don't abuse them

treat them well

this post is inspired by my girlfriends all around me...

life is short

so practice a healthy lifestyle

slim body?

NAH~you'll lose them right after menopause

kind-heartedness and smiles are girls' best make-ups

and they're permanent

❤the true beauty comes from deep within❤

comfort food

Went out with dear Erica yesterday and enjoyed a relaxing afternoon with her

We took lunch, went shopping for groceries

and treated ourselves some cake and dessert before heading back

Hhmmm~

have been abandoning my rice cooker for quite some time...

and i bought some celery and carrots...

initially thinking of cooking a classic chinese ABC soup my mum always used to cook for me...

but i'd like to try something creative, something more western...

and it turned out...

yum~

creamy celery soup with carrot strips, topped with chopped pistachios

=)

i just love the fragrance of celery!
stomach can't stop growling when im boiling the celery:)
and i peeled those carrots into long strips so that they resembles fettucine/pasta...
and for the creamy broth, i actually used those powdered instant Asparagus soup...
lastly, those pistachios were my CNY left-over snacks...


i believe that everybody can be a good cook
its just the matter of how creative you're
and the heart matters most


hehe...
when my 灵感 aka inspiration came...
nothing could stop me from cooking something delicious!^^

what a hearty soup♥

just hope that those carrots won't turn my skin into orange tinge

LOL