Looking back at my previous post, the younger me would never believe that its written by her future self. Im a Buddhist since I was in secondary school but was never a quite faithful follower. In fact, most of the time I'll consider myself a free-thinker. But as time goes by, as Im growing up, there's one more thing that I've discovered, that is the importance of one's spiritual development.
Ps, no offense to free-thinkers out there, if you're feeling somewhat uncomfortable reading my post you can just "X"...But Im so gonna share my view on religion with you all here:)
During the Dhamma class that I've attended last weekend, I asked:
师父，为什么我总是觉得不快乐？
为什么我会觉得很寂寞很想家？
师父答：
一，有可能你还没有找到你的人生目标，所以总觉得生活没意义。
二，有可能你心中没有一个依靠。
These two reasons are so true indeed. Regarding the first reason, its not that I haven't decided on my life goal yet, being a doctor is the only occupation that I wish to do in the future. I've made this decision since I was Form 4, when I developed interest towards Biology and human's physiology, and when I figured out that life is simply too short, so Im gonna live a challenging, meaningful life by choosing this profession of white robe. I don't wanna live a simple life and work like a robot. I wanna see different people with different illness and challenges everyday that need my help to alleviate their sufferings. I know this sounds cheesy-fishy-whatever but that was what inside my mind, really. However, I did realise that my love towards people isn't that strong. I think it takes time to develop this greatest love of all, towards all people regardless of race and religion. So...I guess this doesn't count as one of the reason right?=)
To me, I think the second reason plays a bigger role. When parents are no longer by my side, physically I meant, what i can rely on is my friends. But friends, to me, frankly speaking, they are impermanent, and you wouldn't know whether they'll betray and leave you in the next second. This makes me feel so vulnerable, sometimes...So, my trust and understanding in Buddha teachings has become my core of living, just like a guide or map. Whenever I've lost my way, I'll just refer to His teachings.
Im sure that any major religions lead their followers to a positive, correct way of living, not only Buddhism. So I respect any other religions as well. Im glad that Im still not too late in realizing the importance of spiritual development, because it does makes you a better person, with more positive outlook and hope towards life.
SO
say bye to the old me
the depressed, miserable me
life is definitely worth living
if you have found the reason
