From LCCT

03-04-2013

8.54pm

Blogging in the cafe at LCCT

while waiting for my beloved YoYo Bus to send me home:)

Just finished psychiatry end posting exam! I just lurv this posting so much! I had an awesome supervisor, and those psychiatrists specialists they were all so fun, so kind and so willing to teach! Everything about psychiatry, about the mystery of the mind just fascinates me so much! 

Although sometimes the theory part can be quite intricating, but once I start to read and understand Sigmund Freud's theory, I just found it difficult to stop doing research and read more! To me, this specialty is not as rigid as other specialties in medicine, one needs to be creative and open-minded while listening to patient's story, and one needs to be able to empathize patient's feelings, and from there one needs to interpret and make a diagnosis.

Hhmmm, perhaps... I shall consider this specialty in my future:) Haha! Im kinda extreme, before this I actually prefer surgical-based specialty like General Surgeon. And now, Im SO into Psychiatry, which is the complete opposite end of the spectrum... 

My first attempt of making, or should I called "baking" Bread Pudding using my jar rice cooker! It was quite a successful attempt, was leaving half of it for my breakfast the next day...but...BUT! The ants invaded my tasty bread pudding:(

This is Broccoli Stir Fried with Mushroom and Tuna... Made this for dana offering last week^^ It tasted real yum!!!:)

Eyes are so beautiful

Ophthalmology posting is fun:D

Simply because...

1. We got our own pupil dilated on the very first day of posting! And we learned how to use a direct ophthalmoscope to examine the fundus(the region at the back of your eyes). Such great satisfaction when we managed to see the real optic disc, optic cup and all the retinal vessels! They're just too fascinating and beautiful to see! It's not an easy job indeed, you're taking risks of "kissing" your patient you know:P
2. No ward rounds for 3 weeks in Ophthalmology posting! All we have to attend is clinic, procedure room with all high-tech machines and OT.
3. Finally, I can leave my room later than 8am every morning because the earliest clinic or classes will start at 8.30am. Ps, though Im an early bird, I still enjoy the morning lingering in my room hehe

Finally, after the two nerve-wreckingly busy posting, I've got my turn to unwind, relax and slow down my pace, just for a little short period before another major one >> Medical posting starts. Yes, it's indeed fun using the funduscope but it can be quite boring if you spend your whole life looking at THE EYES everyday! Many of my friends started to develop interest in pursuing this specialty because of the stree-free atmosphere and relatively shorter working hours compared to others super-duper busy specialty like O&G, General Surgery and Orthopaedic. 

"The only certainty is uncertain." said Ajahn Brahm.

Although I seems to be giving comments about every posting I went through, some are positive while some are negative. But who knows what will happen in the future? We can always plan, but things usually won't turn out exactly the same as we wished or planned. Perhaps, I might graduate from medical school and open a food stall at Pasar Malam! 

Haha! Just kidding lar~ 

I love medicine:)

Garlic-sauteed mushroom with broccoli

1. Thinly slice up 1 clove of garlic. Heat up some butter and saute the garlic till fragrance.
2. Add in thinly sliced fresh shitake mushroom, stir-fry until it's almost cooked through.
3. Add in small florets of broccoli and stir-fry together with the garlic and mushroom. Add some water if necessary to ensure even cooking. Season with some salt and italian mixed herbs.
4. When the broccoli is fully cooked, turn off the heat and add in half slice of cheese. Mix everything together evenly.
5. Enjoy your nutritious vege dish!^^

You might think that Im crazy, but I can just eat one large bowl of this broccoli as my main meal! Yum~

The mind of a doctor

Yay!!! It's end posting of Orthopaedic...F.I.N.A.L.L.Y!!!

Honestly speaking, and so sorry to tell you the truth that:
Orthopaedic is indeed, not my cup of tea nor my piece of cake=P

I don't wanna complain too much as it's already the Past.
But I just can't wait for it to end soon,
provided if my friends and I all passed the exam smoothly:)

So! Being feathery light-weighted since my exam ended this morning, I came across this super-beneficial article for everyone who's interested in the Dhamma and currently pursuing or working in the medical profession. 

Do refer to the tab above: "Dhamma in medical/nursing profession"

If you're like me, sometimes doubt may arise that whether I'm creating more harm to the sick while treating them. At times, when I observe my own mind, I might found myself to be more emotionless towards my patient. BUT! In fact, it wasn't so... It's just the matter of us already getting used to it, if you can understand what I mean. For eg, today I might encounter an old lady that got her leg amputated, but the next day I see a happily-married-with-a-newborn-baby young guy that was just being diagnosed a late stage kidney cancer which has already spread to his thigh. See, can you imagine if we immerse ourselves with different kinds of emotions for every single patient, we ourselves might be the one who got sick in the end, Psychiatric sickness! 

In the end, I struggled and it took me awhile to realise that it's OK to not always feel sad for my patients, as long as I don't have any ill will and try my best to take care of them, and most importantly to do no harm! "Primum non nocere" is one of the principle being reminded again and again by our great Orthopaedic specialist here. Another wise advice from him: to become a great doctor, being Brilliant isn't enough, you also need Commitment and Sincerity. This is so true, sometimes, our mind maybe too occupied with all the brilliant ideas that can prove that we're Right, but we neglected our commitment and sincerity to care for our patient's health.

Clinical year, to me is not just about learning how to apply what we have learnt and practice our clinical skills on our patients. It's also a period for us to discover our inner-self, the mind and the emotion that we should acquire when we face and treat our patients. Through observation, we've seen good drs who really care for their patients and the minority that only care for their own stomach. Whenever I see drs who are willing to listen and explain to patient's problem with compassion and kindness, I feel so touched and inspired. And it makes me feel like...

Yea, I may not be the most brilliant person on Earth, 
I may not be the most knowledgable dr, 
but I do hope that I can become a good dr that truly cares. 

My treatment may not be the most advanced and perfect one, 
but I hope that I can provide the best option available
and give my patients as much comfort as possible. 

I maybe thinking abit too much ahead,

but it's about time to set our mind right,

and learn to be comfortable with 

what we're going to practice in less than 2 years time.

Channeling my negative charge!

Week 5 of Orthopedic posting:

• Next week is gonna be my end-posting exam.
• I don't think I've acquired adequate knowledge in this field yet.
• I dislike being ignored.
• I hope our presence is acknowledged.
• I like questions to be thrown on me.
• And if in doubt, I wish that my questions will be taken seriously and answered. 
• I think I've tried my best to work hard but still couldn't make myself genuinely comfortable with this posting.
• It's too late now.
• Just keep my fingers crossed.
• I just wanna pass this posting and move on.
• Anyway, I'm still surviving.
• Yes, struggling a bit, but still alive.

P/S: Ignore me, I'm just channeling out my negativity.

And what remains, is positivity.

random scribbling~

Good evening folks!

There's another loooong weekend for Kelantan again, credited to our Malay friends for this 4 days in a row Haji holiday:)  However, as we're turning into adults and carry more responsibility, as in a medical student in clinical year, holiday don't really feel like holiday anymore because we still need to go for oncalls, OTs and cover cases in wards. But i don't think that its a bad thing either, can u imagine just sitting in the room and studying orthopedic for 4 days??? Learning from the patients is much more interesting and efficient than reading textbook, this is really true! Even at times i may feel lazy to lift up my butt to go to ward, but i will never regret when i got back to my room after that=)

So the first week of Orthopedic posting has ended. What can i say? Its another nice posting to me, but not awesome YET, maybe because its just the first week. Im really lucky to have a nice supervisor and an examiner whom according to senior, is quite Benign, if you can understand what i mean, haha! I witnessed the first orthopedic operation and everything was just so cool! LOL~ Im sorry, i think i might need to hide some of my excitement but OT is definitely a place that i'll never grow bored.

Ooyea! Another thing worth mentioning is that one of my best friend from KMPh-Mr CY will spend 3 months of practical for his Pharmacy course here in my campus! So happy to see him, and nothing has really changed! We went for dinner together and also with Angie and her friend, so we get to know new friends while having a reunion at the same time:)  That was a nice dinner and funny chatter to catch up on each other's life, shall come out "yumcha" again before he leaves!haha!

Its all about Italian for this weekend!!!

Creamy mushroom shell pasta with sweet peas^^

Okay, shall rest earlier today. More challenges to be faced in the coming days, weeks and years...But who cares? The future is so uncertain that everything we planned will never happen the way they should be, so STOP worrying about the future and live in the Now, don't live in the Future, and don't ever live in the Past either...

good night=)

the end of Surgery posting

Greetings from me:)
Although Kelantan is immersed by rainy season these days
but I hope that your mood is not as grey as the sky out there

"When one has a lot of mindfulness it's like going out into a garden in the brilliant sunshine. It's energising, it's beautiful. There's a lot of energy and happiness there. If one can develop that mindfulness, that brightness of the mind, and then focus it on a small part of the world, then one sees deeply into the nature of that. The experience of bright and focused awareness is wonderful and amazing! You see much more beauty than you ever imagined.

So this is a useful simile for mindfulness: turning up the lights of the mind. One becomes more deeply aware because one actually starts to sustain mindfulness on one thing instead of letting mindfulness go all over the place. When that happens, mindfulness illuminates that object and builds up its own energy. One really starts to "see" into something very deeply and wonderfully!"

~Ajahn Brahm~

Well this is such a great way to start a new blog post!

by sharing of some words of wisdom by some great spiritual teacher:)

 ♥      ♥      ♥

Another 3 weeks have passed since my previous update! I'd love to post update in every weekends but i can hardly find enough free time to compose. Now, at last, after my end posting exam for Surgery im having a short weekend break before entering Orthopaedic posting!

Group photo taken with our Surgery posting coordinator, Dr Nizam(sat just behind me) right after the end posting exam.

So im feeling so grateful and fortunate to have such nice, cooperative and mostly hardworking group members for my remaining clinical years. My senior was right when he told me that Surgery is indeed a good start because it creates enough pressure and momentum for you to start off Clinical Year, yet you won't feel too stressful as compared to other scarier posting such as O&G. The most important thing is that Surgery department in HUSM has lots of awesome specialists, MO's and registrars who were mostly very keen to teach! In spite of their hectic workload, they still care for the patients whole-heartedly and that was such an inspiring scene to see, not forgetting to mention that they were really helpful in teaching and clearing our doubts and sometimes stupid questions. Haha! Really, i can't feel thankful enough for them:)

From this year onwards, our MD exams are no longer the same as what we used to have from 1st-3rd year. If you never fulfill your responsibility of clerking the cases in wards, read the patient's folder and ask questions during ward rounds or clinical teaching, you might not be able to tackle the end posting exam efficiently, simply because you really don't have much free time to study in your room anymore! I also learned that by seeing the real patients, my knowledge does impinged deeper in my memory when compared to seeing at the photos of patients inside the textbook. Although going to the ward and clinics were tiring, but somehow i regain my spirit shortly after seeing the patients. And i actually had my first experience of Scrubbing-in to assist during my first OT, and it was a case of Hernioplasty. I still remembered the doctor gave me an opportunity of feeling the deep inguinal ring by inserting my finger into it and feel for the bowels. Oh how much i will miss this exciting, energetic and ever interesting posting!

Nevertheless, im looking forward to the next posting--> Orthopaedic! Lets hope for the best=)

                                                  ♥      ♥      ♥

Credited to Angie, today we had an opportunity to follow a kind and compassionate doctor to do free clinic and house-calls. The free clinic was held at a forest monastery so it was a BONUS for us to visit the monastery, paying respects and learning dhamma from Maechee and Bhante over there! When there was no patients to be treated, we just helped around in the chores of the monastery like gardening and moving sand for constructions. Such a well day spent at doing charity and serving others, for me its a great way to reduce the sense of Self. This forest monastery was built over a cemetery area, well-kept, full of flowers and trees and full of Dhamma=nature.The moment we stepped on the ground, we were just feeling so peaceful and calm. This is the reason why i don't feel like stopping in learning the Dhamma, because of the calm, feeling at ease and the peaceful mind. Our minds can work wonder if you know the way of cultivating it towards wholesomeness. Im just a beginner in Buddhism and very keen to learn more and more Dhamma:)

A forest monastery near Tanah Merah

                                               ♥      ♥      ♥

                     Last but not least, its always my Cooking Day in weekends!^^

                  Taco wraps with omelette with fresh capscicum and salad greens. 

Peanut and dried scallops porridge with pickled "choy sum"

I'm back,for good!hehe

Hi guys!!!

I'm back, finally...

Sorry for the abandonment in the past few months

because my 3 months of hols were too fruitful and packyyy~

Erm, quite lazy to blog about my hols as it has become the past

and as a Buddhist we should always live in the NOW

but if some of my readers are interested

i might be able to summarize everything into few sentences

I've made alot of travellings, which included Makassar(South Sulawesi of Indonesia), Taiwan, and Bali...Sight-seeings were fun, but no doubt tiring!!! Besides, of course, I've tried out alot of recipes and did alot of cookings whenever I'm free at home, which I've posted most of my culinary babes in my facebook album^^On top of all these, the thing that is most worthy of mentioning is: I've went for a few retreats at Vihara Buddha Gotama(VBG) and Dhammapiti Monastery. If you never heard of the word "retreat" before, its actually a simple stay at the monastery to practice meditation, learning the most precious Dhamma from great teacher there, and also to keep the eight precepts. So! This is the most well-spent holiday ever in my life!:D

Now, lets just talk about the present...

To be frank, I was facing such a depressive mode for a few days just before I need to return to my university to continue pursuing my medical degree, and i believe this is simply due to holiday-overdose LOL!!! The thought of me entering Clinical year with such a major posting=> Surgery as my kick-start, a part of me just wished to stay at my comfy home forever and go for dana offering every Saturday with my family!!! However, fortunately another part of me knew that we weren't taught to be irresponsible, thanks to the on-going encouragements and reminders from my spiritual teachers. Yes, indeed, running away from reality is not the way. We should face everything with courage, whether they are good or bad, to learn and understand what is life.

The first week of Clinical year was indeed SUFFERING!!! Holding such a thick logbook in my hands, where we were told to clerk and fill in 80 different cases, observe/assist in 20 OTs, attend 12 oncalls and attend 6 clinics, perform many procedures and observe many endoscopes, preparations of student seminars  etc etc...Everyday is just too hectic and I don't even have time to stop and look at what actually Im doing right then!I was just feeling so lost and frustrated and sometimes, the thought of quitting might flash through like a lightning, but luckily it doesn't stay. My mind keeps on reminding me to be strong and endure whatever difficulties and stressful situations I will be facing.

That was about the initial phase, and now I've been "working" in Surgery Ward for 3 weeks, and you know what? I simply fall in love with this kinda clinical life! See, how fast can your mind and perception changes, impermanence~haha!! 

Yes, life is indeed super busy as I need to get up at 6am and go to the ward at 7am to clerk newly admitted patients every morning, after that follow the specialists and doctors to do morning ward rounds, followed by clinical teachings, Operation Theatre(OTs), clinics or endoscopes. With starving tummy, we are often late for lunch and there will be nothing good left for us in the Cafeteria, later then followed my student seminars or topic discussions, and lastly oncall for alternate day. This kinda life is AWESOMELY tiring because after seeing the patients and treating them, lastly discharging them with newly regained good health, this is such a wonderful job isn't it? Of course, in the meantime we're not eligible to treat anyone yet, but the greatest satisfaction comes from the knowledge that I learned from the doctors, doesn't matter they're just MOs or specialists. I'm learning so much everyday, both from the patients and also from the doctors.

Wow, I'd better stop here and hit my bed earlier!Surgery is a posting where we need to study everything from head to toes that require surgical management. And so free time is precious and I shall read more to expand my pool of knowledge and skill, not to impress anyone but for the sake of helping and relieving pain of my future patients.

Hope you all enjoyed reading my post after such a long gap from my previous sharing...

Before bidding good night, this is a warm home-cooked lunch which I cooked during last weekend:

Butter herb rice with Chicken and Capscicum♥

After long case examination=)

Dear readers!!!
long time no see
life's been busy as usual 
and that's why...

just some quick updates from me:
I just finished my selanjar3 exam about two weeks ago
Well i think i did okay, no regrets cause i've tried my best
but the study week was the most suffering period!!!

Let's have a look~

~MY WAR ZONE~

and this shall be my war zone once again till my Profesional 2 exam finishes at 29th May!!!

but overall i love this study environment=)

and you know what???

my birthday fell on the study week, AGAIN!!!

So my marshmallow aka angel aka ERICA decided to celebrate birthday early with me=)

Thankful to have this great friend to pull me out(temporarily) from the misery of studying...

HAHA

and when i become stressful enough, the spontaneous me decided to cook a great nutritious meal to treat myself...

who else can treat you better than you yourself?

and what food is best for your brain???

DHA from salmon of course...

proudly present to you:

pan-seared salmon with poached pear

This year the Indian Cultural Night fell on the study week too...

my USM besties aka mountain pig aka GEOK XIN and I had our first ever experience of wearing Saree...

millions thanks to Rubeni for this^^

Well, looking at all these pics may give you a false impression on how i was "enjoying" throughout the study week, but in reality, I do suffered from a significant level of stress! The only difference is that this time, I have  found ways to overcome and reduce the stress, and optimise my study capacity(hopefully)...


Then, after finished my selanjar3 exam, of course, is my HOMEY time!!!

Missing my family so much:)

After a weekend retreat back home, I came back to campus only to face with more extra challenges and hectic weeks of Clinical Block, where we need to clerk new and fresh cases each day and to present case to the doctor the next day. However, though it was a busy week but surprisingly I found it exciting and enjoyable, the most important thing is that I was able to learn more and improve my clinical skills from those real patients that I've clerked=)

Next, I have to face another BOMB: Long case examination!!! which finally ends today;)...I was lucky enough to get a not-so-difficult case of patient with Dengue Fever, and Im absolutely grateful to have 2 super kind and willing-to-teach examiners;) Though I did not perform PE smoothly and answer their questions perfectly, but personally I think that I've clerked a good history HAHA C'mon who cares about the marks anymore as long as I can learn! It's better to make mistakes now and learn from it than making mistakes when you're working as a HO or MO right?:)

So that's why I gave myself a permission to linger around here for a while just to give some touch-ups with my life, can't help feeling relieved after the long case examination=)

Lastly, life now has been blissful and blessed by Dhamma:)

Currently I need to focus on revision for Professional 2 exam...
Bye and see you when Im free to blog again
or when Im too stressed up
x)

You can!!!

Owh dear please wake me up from this hot and sleepy afternoon!!!X)


Sorry I'm here just to ramble and rant while taking a short break...
Can't stay for long, because...

I HAVE NO MORE TIME TO LOSE!!!
MOUNTAIN HIGH OF NOTES NEED TO BE REVISED!!!

Hhmmpph!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Nothing beats my determination...

Don't underestimate your  heart

As long as you want something

And decided to put all your heart into achieving it

There's nothing in this world that is  impossible to reach

Sharing with all my dear friends who are also working hard for exam

Ganbatte:)

给自己

无论多累 
都得努力撑下去


无论多气 
都得保持菩萨般清静的心


无论多郁闷
都得抱着开朗的心情


无论多缺乏睡眠
都得试着精神奕奕


无论多紧张压力
都得保持镇定


黄欣茹
相信自己
能走到今天的你
肯定不是想象中的脆弱！！！


最后，只想告知于未来的挑战：
来吧~
我已全副武装等待克服你！！！

dream big,start small

Here comes the end of the first week of Communicable Disease Block, I have learnt everything from bacterial/viral diarrhoea to biosecurity agents like Anthrax. I enjoyed all the learnings from lectures, clinical teachings, PBLs...But at the same time feeling the tension slowly building when my lecture notes start piling up,which supposed to be a very normal phenomenon...Guess maybe i've become unfamiliar with "pressure" after staying in latency period for too long...Nevermind! I will be gaining back my resistance within no time!=)

Im currently trying to hard to improve on my clinical skills, because deep down inside i know that it has always been my problem, and i've been hiding away from it. So from this semester onwards, Im gonna face the fear, I don't wanna become a doctor that have all the medical knowledges but sucks at clinical skills. Im gonna clerk more patients, to overcome my fear of approaching and talking to patients, taking their medical history and performing physical examinations, most importantly be more confident. Good news is i've made my first big step and it turns out great!=)

Sometimes, it's just hard not to feel lonely. Since there's no way to avoid it, Im learning how to embrace it. It's not that i don't have friends, the only thing is that they just can't ALWAYS be there for you...Same thing, actually i shouldn't be feeling this way because i've been experiencing this in my 2nd year. Anyways, I know there's nothing wrong at all for being alone, im feeling more free even! And I know im not alone for being alone, if you get what i meanX)

My handphone has been declared "battery dead" since last night. Thank you for serving me faithfully in these 3 years! Even though Sony Ericsson phone has quite a bad reputation on short lasting period, but i need to tell you the truth that i've dropped my phone for umpteenth times but it still have perfect functions and lasts long enough for me! A special thanks to my friend JiaRong for lending me his spare black-and-white handphone to last till i can go back home and buy a new one. Hhmmm~ I gotta apologise to my parents for making them worried about me because i didn't call back home for 2 days! And i deserved the "Howler" from my mum in facebookXD

I think that's about it, my grandmother story! Sometimes i do prefer to write in paragraphs, like the traditional way of essay-writing, better way to express my feelings^^

It's a weekend!
Im gonna indulge and treat myself a movie tonight!
Then, buckle up my feelings for a focused, better tomorrow;)

dream big

start small

say hi to panda

Hi~it's me...

the blogger Vivian!!!

couldn't recognise me anymore with the panda eyes huh><

well, this post is supposed to be reserved till tomorrow when my exam finishes OFFICIALLY...
but as you can see, most of us will see today as the UNOFFICIAL end of our exam
because tomorrow's only left MCQ paper
MCQMCQMCQ~
for medical students you'll only have 3 choices for each question: true/false/you don't know
sounds easy huh???
but not so because its always the paper i get the least satisfying result!

im here anyway because i think it won't harm if i take 15min to rant a bit
before gathering back the broken pieces to work hard for tomorrow
plus i won't be free to blog tomorrow cz i'll be busy packing to go home;)

ahhHHH~
i TOTALLY screwed up my OSCE Clinical paper just now...
firstly, i've got a real thyroid patient with a large anterior neck swelling!
secondly, i couldn't answer most of the questions on suture!(guess what, my pen ran out of ink in that most critical time!)
thirdly, my history taking was so kelam-kabut!

i hate it when i know that i can do better but i didn't=(

my eyes looked like panda

my hair has become scantier, day by day

i need something from home:

love

first residency for CFCS

to my dearest freshie readers, 

CFCS actually stands for Community and Family Case Study Programme. It's a pre-requisite subject for USM's medical students in order to pass the pre-clinical year. There will be four residencies in total, which means that we'll be entering the village that we're assigned to for four times, each time with different missions. 


during our first residency, which i've just completed today, we were given a mission to walk around the kampung, draw the housing map of it, tag all the houses, and then we will randomly choose ~150 houses to do our survey on the villagers' health status. After interviewing 150 families, we need to key in all the data systematically, analyze it and then choose the most prominent health problem among the villagers to do further survey during the second residency on september.

OH PLEASE!!!
ENOUGH OF THE BORING, FORMAL INTRODUCTION!!!

welcome to...

Kampung Berangan & Kampung Banggol Jenereh

before starting our journey, we were waiting for USM Bus outside the girl's hostel...

everybody LOOKED so enthusiastic, yet a lil bit reluctant.

reason?the exam is just around the corner!!!and you're pushing us into a VILLAGE, for 3 days!!!

LOL~but we turned out to be enjoying the whole process, well, at least i did^^

passing by a long-stretch of pretty paddy field on the way to the village...

it looked like the place where Jay's MV 稻香 was taken!!!

after greeted by the friendly penghulu and the villagers...

our mapping and interview walks begun...

sometimes, it rains.

but most of the time, the Sun was just right above our head!

well, i got a severe headache during the 1st day because of the heat...

the happiest hour???it's ALWAYS the makan time...hehehe

our penghulu was so extremely friendly and we were treated 3 niceee meals each day!!!

looked at all the tired faces after a looong day of walking under the sun, visiting houses asking questions, and getting their body measurements...

and on the very last day, the penghulu even asked the villagers to cook a "Kenduri" for us!!!

the food was extremely tasty!some, are completely NEW to me^^

i've learnt quite alot of things during these 3 days...

no1 is definitely to eat by using my hand!

no2 is...i think i've acquired, at least, a bit of Kelate slang of speaking Malay!!!^^

Yea, as i've mentioned just now, we were actually kinda not-so-happy when we got to know that we are the 2nd batch who will be entering the village during the study week period. i think i might be the only one prefer this arrangement because i'll be getting a short break from the lecture notes and have something to divert my dull and stressful emotions away, for 3 days...


and now,the thing has over! 
im glad that my group members are well-cooperated and efficient on getting our job done! 
hopefully this thing will elevate my spirit to strive and work hard for my exam next week!!!

OoooYeah~~~
i can smell my study spirit burning within me LOL
im getting my ass back to my lecture notes, right now!
in the meantime, no more blogpost til my exam finishes on 2nd June!!!
don't miss me too much
cheerio~

♡good luck and all the best for the exam♡

BIG SMILE

=)

from vivian

gear up,ready,GO!

been spending the past few days to cover those unread lecture notes


and from this moment onwards(right after i finished blogging^^)
my revision schedule starts!!!
i have 15 days right before the exam
minus 3 days of CFCS "masuk kampung"
there are only 12 days left


im sure that i can finished revising within 12 days
but how long/good i can remember everything?
nah~im starting to create pressure on myself again
maybe this is me
who always try to push beyond my own limits


both of my daddy mummy asked me to only aim for PASS
i'll bear in mind for that
cause i don't wanna make my life so miserable
i mean...
how long can a person lives?
i don't wanna screw up the precious 3 weeks of my life just because of a term exam


sleep when im sleepy
jog when i couldn't concentrate
eat when im hungry
entertainments when im stressed
im gonna treat myself better this time
yet not tilting the balance away from the exam...


okok...
ENOUGH of the babblings!!!

let's gear up

and start the journey

jiayou everyone!!!=)

time to get serious

just finished the Hubungan Etnik examination consisted of 40 MCQs

and it marks the official beginning of my revision schedule for Selanjar 2 MD examination

yes, i haven't started revising, not even a single note

to make thing worse, there are 2 weeks of lecture notes from GUT block which i never touched before

(that time i was away to the Bangkok medical conference)

as usual, i dislike talking to people during exam period

it maybe due to the fact that i will be easily infuenced by people's emotion-STRESS

plus it's hard to ignore other's speedy progression

another saddening observation is that people will reveal their masked, selfish side in this critical period

which im so frustrated about and hate to see

but i don't wanna lose my true friends! 

whom are my pillar of support especially in a place that is distant from home...

so dear true friends, let's continue to support each other without creating extra pressure among ourselves kay;)

the ultimate motivation comes from>>>

HOME for 3 months after the exam!!!

JIAYOU♥

the silence killer

what's your problem actually?

why can't you just open your mouth and talk?

please don't look at me innocently and expect me to help

cz im totally tired of these 

i'll just look back into your eyes and smile

i used to help when you're facing problem halfway while discussing

i used to share what i've read and learnt

i used to contribute even if it's none of my business

BUT

the more help i've offered

the more dependent you are

hey

there's no such thing as clever or stupid person

i care about the discussions

i hope everyone can learn something from it

so i put my heart into the preparations

i read

as much as time permits

as deep as i could understand

so that i can explain to you if you're having any doubts

but you?

printing those handouts means nothing

if you didn't really understand and read well enough 

if you're giving me surface informations i'd rather read that by myself

the purpose of assigning only one topic for each person is to reduce the workload

so that we'll have time to TRULY read and understand the topic,thoroughly

i used to throw many questions to you while you're explaining

but gradually i stopped

because i knew that you'll not able to answer it

and that will only makes you more embarassed

sometimes...

i knew some of you know something

you may know the answer

but you just refused to speak

why???

haiz~

please...

speak speak SPEAK!!!

ps...i hope i didn't offense anyone...i just wanna voice out my opinion...and im just hoping that our discussions will turn from a dead into a lively one...

freeeeeee

it feels weird

like missing a part of me

im enjoying my free time

without late-nights wushu practices

without rehearsals

and...

without seeing them everyday

nowadays

i went to shop for groceries

i took naps

i went jogging

i chit-chatting with my friends

yet i still have plenty of time to study

hehe

but have i finished catching up with all those lecture notes?

not yet.

let's try to finish reading it now?

nope.

im sleepy already

:P