from the red zone

In the Red zone:

I saw the fragility of human life
Death can be so simple, easy and fast

A knock on the head
An electric shock
A leg infection
A simple fall

It can just occur in a split second
Just within a blink of our eyes

Drs try their best to resuscitate patients whom lives were just hanging on a thread
Even if they succeed in recovering the beating of the heart
There is no guarantee on the viability of other organs
The other various factors that sustain life other than the heart

We cheer when we see stable sign on cardiac monitoring
But that could only lasts for a few hours
There are too many things that we couldn't control or predict

Our lives

can be just as fragile as an ant's

When we see death

It should be a wake-up call for us

To start living 

:)

the forgotten-part two

Continued from the previous post...

I cherished my chance of being enrolled into a Medical Degree programme very much. During the pre-clinical years, I studied so hard, way beyond my own previous limits. That time, extra-curricular activities like Wushu Club and Chinese Cultural Night were my only way to escape from lecture notes and books. Those minor and major Professional exams were the most stressful situation I have ever faced.

Living under such constantly stressful and depressing environment, it killed my heart. I can hardly feel. Eventually, what I've been chasing after is to pass all my exams with good grades. Bits by bits, I've forgotten the reason why am I here for the very first place.

Of course, I've passed all my pre-clinical exams gracefully. Here comes the clinical years. Posting after posting, the very same thing happened: blurry first week, less blurry second week, pacing up in third week, motivationally driven forth and fifth week, and VOILA! End posting exam in the sixth week. Being lack of exposure to clinical exam styles during our pre-clinical years, our end posting exams are usually as stressful as Professional exams can get. Again and again, we just aim to pass every postings so that we won't need to stay here for another extra 1 month for remedials while others are enjoying their holiday at home.

BUT!

Something was different though, clinical years somehow made me to be able to FEEL again. Over time, my feelings get stronger. After clerking and talking to my patients, I wished I could help. Looking at how caring the specialists can talk to their patients and plan the best treatment for them, its really hard not to be touched and inspired. Indeed, this is the NOBLEST profession of all. This is what Im looking for I guess, to be able to contribute something, to help somebody before I die.

I am only a final year medical student, placed at the lowest hierarchy during ward rounds. But as sincere as I can get, I truly hope that our seniors, namely House Officers, Medical Officers, Registrars and Specialists could acknowledge our presence more. We are humans, we need motivations. I may not be the best medical student, but I do have a heart to learn to become a good, safe and caring doctor.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

Nowadays, I allow myself to make mistakes and ask stupid questions. Because the great responsibility of handling lives hasn't come to me yet, not until after the day of graduation. Im trying my best to handle my stress level, not letting it to be too over-whelming as it gives more negative impact than positive ones to myself. Im cultivating my heart to be able to feel how patients feel, to see them as if they are my family members.

Well, seems like I have NOT forgotten my dream afterall :) 

~The End~

The forgotten-part one

I stumbled upon some thoughts today:
What do I really want to become in the near-future?
What's the purpose of living such a stressful medical student's life?

The scene need to be rewind to about 7 years ago...

I was a cheerful bubbly & plump girl who loved Biology. I was so fascinated by the anatomy and physiology of human bodies. I also believed that an interesting life should be driven by passion and full of challenges. Someday I read in the newspaper that revealed much of the populations in Malaysia who are still living in poverty were neglected in terms of healthcare. Those were also the time of Earthquake happening in China, with the news keep on reporting how the doctors from all around the world willing to step out from their comfort zone to lend some helping hands to the earthquake victims. I was so inspired.

When I was young, I spent a lot of time thinking about LIFE. How to live a fruitful life? How to live without regrets? And before I die, is there anything that I can do to make this world a better place? After driven further by these "ambitious" thoughts, I finally decided that the only profession that I would love to spend my lifetime pursuing it is to become a DOCTOR.

I told myself that, no matter what happens, my dream MUST come true! That contributed to my inner-strength, to stay strong even when I need to leave my home just a few days after I successfully appealed and got myself a place in Pahang Matriculation programme. I cried almost every night due to the cultural shock that I was facing, and of course nevertheless-homesickness. But I kept on reminding myself to stay strong and never forget about my dream.

Eventually I conquered Pre-University programme and was lucky enough to get chosen by USM as the first batch of APEX medical students. If you ask any medical students, I believe that they will tell you almost the same story, that our lives were really miserable awful stressful, with all those medical textbooks we need to read, thousand of diseases to understand and countless clinical skills we need to practice and acquire. Well, people often talked about when you succeed in getting what you want, you'll tend to forget how precious and how it meant the whole world to you in the first place.

Mind you, this is so true.

to be continued...

Calling for a final boarding!

I still couldn't believe that Im already a final year medical student.

Oops, provided if I pass my Final Professional Exam :)

Because nobody could predict the future.

It's not that Im not a confident person,

but if my medical knowledge & skill is still lacking,

I'd rather spend another extra 6 months in medical school,

to make sure that Im REALLY competent to become an HO,

to cater to the sick & needy patients as much as I can.

♥    ♥    ♥

Nah...

Sorry for starting this with such a melancholic tone ;P

Here comes the end of 3rd out of 5 weeks in Surgery rotation. Final year is indeed much stressful compared to last year as most of our major postings have been cut short for at least 1-2 weeks, in spite of the usual 6  weeks. So practically during the first week of each rotation we are expected to recapture everything we learned in the same rotation last year; the second week is for us to escalate and brush up whatever knowledge which we didn't afford to do last year due to time limitation; the third and fourth weeks are for us to practise, completing logbook & case report; and here comes the fifth week which will be our end-posting exam. Mind you, some rotation eg: Orthopedic was given only 3 weeks duration! >.<

Not only we must concentrate on our current rotation, we also need to do revision on other rotations by practising short cases with friends during weekends, and doing past year questions. Yea, sounds damn lots and scary huh~ But as Ajahn Brahm said:" Doing it is easy, thinking about it is the difficult part." So most of the time I'll just stop thinking about stress and just complete whatever daily learning issues I assigned to myself. Then, keeping my fingers crossed that everything will turn out just alright :)

End posting exam is no longer a big issue for us, as we're now more concerned about our true capability of functioning as a HO by next September. Listening to our lecturer's scolding about how scarce is our clinical knowledge now hurts a thousand times more compared to last year, because deep down inside everyone of us is so worried that we won't be able to become a good doctor next year. Whereas listening to our lecturer's encouragement and praising our efforts means a thousand times more as it builds the confidence within us. 

Im always been a believer of love & encouragement. Those are the vitamins that feeds positive mind and energy in us. To me, being harsh and scolding leads to more negative mind and energy among people, eventually they will feel defeated and stop trying.

This is about it I guess. Im still holding on. Thinking about all my friends who're "boarding the same plane" with me, somehow gives me some relief. May all of us be trying our best to learn and practise more. If our seniors can do it, we can too^^

Tata :]

Elective in Hospital Teluk Intan

Just finished my 3 weeks of elective attachment to Medical ward in Hospital Teluk Intan.

First time for me to stay in a new town all by myself, without any friends or family around.

First time to drive around alone in a new town.

First time to get to know & explore a new working/learning place by myself.

First time to learn medicine & share knowledge with med students from other varsities like UKM & UiTM.

First time renting a room and stayed with an old couple. Turned out that they were super kind and nice people! They were like my own family members even though i only stayed with them for as short as 3 weeks!

A wonderful experience indeed!
Learnt alot from the specialists here and from other hosp who came to teach their varsity's medical students.

Its time to spend & cherish the remaining 1 week+ holiday with my family.
In the meantime,getting ready mentally and physically(which is not a problem now as i've been gaining weight during hols!haha!:P) to resume my final year in USM MD studies!

Ps: Life's too short & unpredictable. Live fruitfully for this very moment. Do good whenever you're capable. Cherish & be contented.

Yea its definitely easier to be said than done! It takes time to train ourselves to always be mindful. Just don't give up hope:)

End of 4th year MD study

ALOHA READERS!!!:D

Another long interval from my last blogpost, sorry for that:)

Just finished my end posting exam in Paediatric... It was of so much fun! Lecturers and specialists were all so motivational, informative and gave us lots of encouragement^^ Initially i thought kids have always hated me, because I tend to make my baby cousins scream and cry during family gathering in CNY. But the kids in the hospital seemed to get along so well with me. Hmm~good sign! A pat on the back for myself haha!

Now, my fouth year MD studies has come to an end. BUT I HATE PACKING!!! The only motivation to urge me to pack is my parents' face... Really missing my family, my home and my pets alot... Can't believe that Im actually been away for about 3 months until one day when Daddy called, he told me about shifting the furniture arrangement in our living room, then only I realised I couldn't recall how my living room looked like anymore! How sad is that huh:'(

But that doesn't matter anymore as I will be heading home in 2 days time^^

My next blogpost will be something lovely & warm from home:)

stay tuned...

 

O&G

Hi dearest readers, so sorry for the temporary abandonment. I've been quite busy lately because Im currently been posted to Obstetric & Gynaecology posting. A posting that evokes fear in most people. Full of malignant examiners(strict specialists), torturing oncalls and of course, highest exam failure rate compared to other postings.

Just finished my long case clinical examination a few hours ago! That's why Im free to spare some time in blogging, besides I also need some relaxation period to calm down my mind.

Lets ask yourself some questions:
Have you ever feel that your life is always full of obstacles?
Have you envious of others because their journeys are much easy and smooth as compared to yours?

Personally, I did felt that way! Especially when I tend to get the scariest, strict-est, high-ranking Profs as my supervisors/examiners in each postings. Don't ask me why. I...just...tend...to...be...SO "LUCKY"!!! At first I was feeling really frustrated: Why always me??? But, as time goes by, posting by posting... I was able to recognize that its actually a blessing in disguise. Seriously, its such a strong motivational force to urge me to be more hardworking, always push myself to study more, read  more, clerk more patients and learn from them. Without having that fear & anxiety of failing or getting scold by specialists during exam, I won't be that motivated on pushing myself to the extreme. So, in the end of the story, no matter what the outcome will be, Im still thankful for any scary Profs that made me learn so much in each and every postings. Just wish that the knowledges can stay longer in my brain:) Hopefully the knowledge that I equipped will be helpful when I start my work as a HO in one year time.

Obstetric & Gynaecology, its one of the toughest major posting that I've been through. Reason is that we were not exposed to much O&G stuffs during our first 3 years of medical studies. That means its actually our very first time to learn everything about pregnancy, and how to manage a patient from any antepartum>intrapartum>postpartum complications. I was being put into a Heavenly Team A, in which the specialist will listen patiently to our case presentation, discuss and teach us alot! Utmost grateful for that^^ It's also the only posting that we will be given chances to improve our skills of blood taking, setting IV lines etc etc. Although oncalls were such a torture, but nevertheless, its a good exposure to us to anticipate how our HO life will be when we are working in O&G department later. We had 2 weekday oncalls(6pm-6am) and 1 weekend oncall(24hours), when we need to fulfill logbook requirements of conducting 5 normal deliveries. That's the most messy yet exciting and interesting part. For me, the most enjoyable moment is watching the mother cuddling the newborn in her arm after endured hours of pain and torture. That could simply moved me to tears. Of course, it also reminded me of how my mother suffered through the pain to give birth to me and my siblings. Labour pain, I heard that its actually beyond and transcends all the pain existed in this world.

6 weeks ended like rockety fast! Im gonna miss those moments of oncalls, where I sit beside moms in labor, chatting with them to somehow distract them from labour pain, and encouraging them to push when they start the delivery process. Thinking back, when I was assisting HOs to do suture at 3am and I was practically falling asleep while standing, that was hilarious! Not to forget about the BABIES!!! Looking at you with such innocent eyes after they just survived tunneling through the birth canal. Nevermind, I will meet with more BABIES starting from next week>entering Paediatric soon, which is my final posting in 4th year!^^

This is the thing: Although I may complain relentlessly about how miserable my life in USMkk might be, I still love my medical school. Simply because it has a good teaching policy, a student-friendly teaching hospital, specialists that are so willing to teach, and cooperative patients! Its still one of the best medical school in Malaysia, I must say. So, a message to myself and also juniors who are reading this, cherish and grab every learning opportunity given to you in USMkk Medical School, and may all of us succeed in our career in terms of providing service and taking care of the sick! Never to forget our starting point of chasing this dream: to help cure the sick, or at least relief their sufferings.

Wow, this is really alot! Better stop here, strive for my MCQ paper in 2 days time!
Tata~

Elements that constitute L.I.F.E

There are so may elements that constitute life.
Your academic result,
Your social status,
Your wealth,
Your job,
There are not everything.

Because there are things that money couldn't buy.
Time spent with your loving family.
Faith and trust from your friends.

Our parents are aging.

Siblings are growing up.

You can't stop time.
The clock is always tickling.
Without you knowing, you're losing some important moments and persons.

So,
for students who are busy chasing A's in their result slip,
for working adults who are preoccupied with earning money and job promotion,
for most people who take materialism like electronic gadgets, cars and houses seriously.
Stop, step back, and look.
What is more cherishable?

From LCCT

03-04-2013

8.54pm

Blogging in the cafe at LCCT

while waiting for my beloved YoYo Bus to send me home:)

Just finished psychiatry end posting exam! I just lurv this posting so much! I had an awesome supervisor, and those psychiatrists specialists they were all so fun, so kind and so willing to teach! Everything about psychiatry, about the mystery of the mind just fascinates me so much! 

Although sometimes the theory part can be quite intricating, but once I start to read and understand Sigmund Freud's theory, I just found it difficult to stop doing research and read more! To me, this specialty is not as rigid as other specialties in medicine, one needs to be creative and open-minded while listening to patient's story, and one needs to be able to empathize patient's feelings, and from there one needs to interpret and make a diagnosis.

Hhmmm, perhaps... I shall consider this specialty in my future:) Haha! Im kinda extreme, before this I actually prefer surgical-based specialty like General Surgeon. And now, Im SO into Psychiatry, which is the complete opposite end of the spectrum... 

My first attempt of making, or should I called "baking" Bread Pudding using my jar rice cooker! It was quite a successful attempt, was leaving half of it for my breakfast the next day...but...BUT! The ants invaded my tasty bread pudding:(

This is Broccoli Stir Fried with Mushroom and Tuna... Made this for dana offering last week^^ It tasted real yum!!!:)

♡ Psychiatry

I really love and enjoy Psychiatry posting, not because of it's a relatively free, easy and leisure posting compared to others, but I really love every aspects of Psychiatry. It really fascinates me about how this mind works, how different personality developed in each individual. And every patients I clerked, they have their own life stories to tell, and I love to listen to their out-of-the-box and amazing experiences they've been facing. 

So, practically my life in these 4 weeks are like being my patients' best friend by listening to their stories and what led them to the psychiatric clinic. I was really amazed by the powerful of the mind. This mind, they can be really tricky and cheat you to the extent you can never imagine. Sometimes I do felt sad for them, but well, we can't really do much to help them, simply because this mind belongs to themselves. We can only prescribe medication to control their symptoms. Only they can help themselves. They have to work hard to make their mind healthy once again.

A message to myself:

If you're mentally healthy, be grateful, because this is your good Kamma. 

Cherish your healthy mind, take good care of your body and live fruitfully.

Do not live life in negligence.

Care more and be forgiving of others.

At least, do not harm anyone.

Once in a while, I nourish myself with some good food:)

Orange Jelly

The weather has been so freaking hot since February

best thing is that when you came back to your room after a long day in hospital

there's a mug of cold, refreshing jelly awaits and greets you

ready to cool down your body and emotion:)

Orange Jelly

1. According to instruction from "Konnyaku Jelly Powder", dissolve the powder in a bottle of 350mL "Minute Maid orange juice". (I just used half a packet of the jelly powder)
2. After dissolved, pour the liquid into the mould and chill in the fridge.
3. Enjoy!^^

Ps1: I did not add any sugar into the jelly liquid. The sweetness from the orange juice is good enough for me. Thus there would be no risk of getting diabetesx)

Ps2: This is a super low-cal snack to be enjoyed. The carrageenans(aka natural collagen) in the jelly is good for your health particularly to keep your skin young!:)

A message to myself: cherish

I was born as a human being
with a healthy body
and a healthy mind

I have a loving family
Daddy & mummy who love me unconditionally
and little mischievous brother and sister who always fight but also laugh with me

Because of my father's hardwork, sweat and tears
there's never a need to starve
and we are able to enjoy the food we like
we can afford to buy new clothes occasionally
and some electronic items that we need like my laptop and Samsung S2

Im studying Medicine in one of the best local university in Malaysia
Im able to pursue my dream to become a doctor
A profession that i wished to become since I was 15 years old

I have many friends
those who will be there to share my laughter, tears
and sometimes, anger;P

My family & I are happy Buddhists
We're practising the dhamma which is the Buddha's teaching
and we have some great spiritual teachers in life

With all these...
what more should I ask for?
nothing.

Im truly a lucky girl

with such good kamma

thus I should not let myself to live heedlessly

Vivian,

You should cherish everything that you're having right now.

Do not take anything for granted.

Because everything is impermanent,

do not wait till the day when you lost something then only you regret.

Cherish

Its indeed an easy word to forget.

Especially when we're not mindful enough.

From today onwards,

Lets train our heart to be able to see 

and cherish everything in our life:)

Ps, I love to have a walk in nature.They calm down and clear my mind of daily junks, eventually letting me to see so many things so clearly♥

Delayed CNY post

Delayed CNY touch-ups^^

For the past few years, our family tradition during the very first day of CNY had always been going for hill-hiking together. My dad would say:" This year we should climb higher than where we reached last year!才算是步步高升！" 

LOL~

2013 is a totally different year for my family as we've found the dhamma. According to Buddha's teaching, the only way that we can improve our life is through gaining good merits by cultivating Dana, Sila & Bhavana. So, on the very first day of CNY 2013, my whole family went to offer dana at Dhammapiti Monastery. We were kinda worried that the monks won't have enough food to eat that day because we thought that everybody will be busy celebrating CNY and won't have time to do dana. 

Turned out, SURPRISE!!! 

The monastery was full of kind-hearted people who are selfless and willing to sacrifice some of their time to do dana. So happy to see that:))) 

And below are the dishes specially prepared  by daddy & i...Ps, i cooked the garlic butter prawns with broccoli, it was so aromatic and nice^^

Most of the CNY holiday was spent at my Grandma's ancient house at Temoh. I still enjoy the atmosphere where most of the relatives will be back and we will have a HUGE family "discussion" around the dining table. Uncles and aunts will reminiscent their childhood stories, and everybody would laugh at the silly jokes at those old days. The children will enjoy playing cards, running around making noises while the adult will play the mahjong. But somehow, as years go by, children has grown up and the whole atmosphere just became not as CNY-ish as before anymore. Just for a change, this year my younger bro suggested to trot around the village of Temoh and took some nice pics.

Of course, the most enjoyble thing is just simply hanging aorund with my beloved daddy mummy bro and sis! Its really funny when i thought of how badly we fought with each other among siblings when 3 of us were still children. And now we have all grown up and become young adults. No more fighting! Surely mom & dad feel glad because of this, no more headache for them!LOL

We had a great dinner and went to Ipoh Kinta Riverfront to have a relaxing stroll, hoping to burn some of the heavy calories eaten. That was actually on Valentine's day, and my dad did the  sweetest thing-sending my mom valentine's roses! Look at this sweet couple^^

And there was my beloved mom's birthday too! I baked mini oreo cheesecakes for her. Nothing beats my love towards my family:) Ohya, besides i also managed to bake a choco-banana bread which was so soft and fragrant! Yum!^^ Thought of baking peanut cookies and oatmeal cookies but i just couldn't spare out any free time to do so. Will reserve that during my next hols!

medical end posting

Finally, and yet once again, another 6 weeks of major posting>>Medical posting has passed! Definitely no doubt that i was once intimidated by other's warnings about my supervisor, and was trying so hard not to let my perception being too affected by others. Because of the fear others was trying to instill in me, i turned that into some kinda energy that motivated me to keep on working hard, not because of im afraid of failing in my exam with my supervisor. But just wanna prove to myself: if i learn as much as i can, if i tried my best and acquired the knowledge that i should know as a future doctor, if i behave as a nice humble medical student, there's no way that he could penalize me. Looking back, im generally satisfied with what i did during these 6 weeks. This was by far the busiest posting i ever had, the most challenging and also the most knowledge gained!:) From the commonest cardiovascular and respiratory diseases, to kidney, endocrine and infectious diseases. The knowledge in medical field is like a bottomless hole, you can never finish learning.

And then, there were times that I was feeling really stressed. I took my bicycle and went outdoor for a ride. The sky was blue and stretching wide, sun was shining bright, pretty flowers died. A sudden thought came to my mind, that everything is impermanent. This stress that im facing is impermanent, any emotion is impermanent, this life is impermanent, this body is impermanent. Only then i realised how heedless i was. Most of the time we're just like that, we tend to see any problem with a magnifying glass, imagining them like they're the worst thing that ever happened in our life. If we're being mindful enough, we will not get cheated by this negative state of mind.

Well, enough of my long-winded story i guess...

Shall share my story with you by some nice pics=)

My cutie partner Grace. We shared the same supervisor in the medical posting. We worked hard, played hard and laughed hard together! LOL~ Really fun to have good posting groupmates^^

On the very last day of medical posting, at the very last short case session at Hospital Kota Bharu, we had an awesome and fruitful time learning from a great doctor! After that we decided to go for supper as celebration...tried this famous BURGER BAKAR!!! It tasted real nice, much nicer than Mc Donald's i think:)

And just now I just got back from buddy Mike's birthday celebration...Found another nice western food restaurant in KB! Wow, nowadays we can really find some nice food in Kelantan already:)))

I think that's about it for today! Need to rest earlier tonight because tomorrow gotta get up earlier in the morning to cook something for dana offering, so happy! Yay^^ Will touch up more with you guys soon! I haven't even share with you guys about my awesome CNY holiday! Anyway, please stay tuned! More coming up soon cz I'll be entering quite a relaxing posting>>Psychiatry! Can't wait!:D

9 daily habits for a cheerful YOU

Read across this in Yahoo website long time ago and have always thought of sharing it with my dear readers here!

Here you go: the 9 daily habits that will make you happier!^^

1. Start each day with expectation.

If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought: "something wonderful is going to happen today." Guess what? You're probably right.

2. Take time to plan and prioritize.

The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got too much work to do.  Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.

3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.

I'm not talking about a formal, wrapped-up present. Your gift can be your smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod. And never pass beggars without leaving them something. Peace of mind is worth the spare change.

4. Deflect partisan conversations.

Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt."

5. Assume people have good intentions.

Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

6. Eat high quality food slowly.

Sometimes we can't avoid scarfing something quick to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day try to eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.

7. Let go of your results.

The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.

8. Turn off "background" TV.

Many households leave their TVs on as "background noise" while they're doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?

9. End each day with gratitude.

Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or something as huge as a million dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again.

I believe happiness comes deep inside from our heart, it's always there. But the hustle and bustle of life can sometimes be SO overwhelming that whatever good quality within us is masked. If everybody could just willing to take a deep breath and have some time for ourselves to settle down our ever racing mind and thought each day, and feel peaceful for just a second, life would be indeed much cheerful:)

Quick share

3/2/2013, 9.10pm

Been feeling dizzy and sleepy since afternoon after blood donation

I love to donate blood

Feeling good knowing that part of this impermanent body can help others

Being poked by such large bore needle is not fun

But at the same time it reminds me of how painful is it for the patients in ward who get poked several times a day...

Couldn't have a clear and focused mind to study now

Just go to sleep Vivian

And have a fresh and energy start in the next morning!

Bear it for 3 more days

then you'll get a short & refreshing break;)

A mind of gratitude is one that sees the good in things,

that values things,

and that relishes even the difficult parts of life.

Such a mind tends to grow in freedom, happiness and energy!

~Ajahn Brahm

Hello February=)

Been so busy for the past 1 month! Im currently stucked happily in Medical posting. I admit that before I enter this posting, I've always think that its a very dry and boring posting, but now Im having a totally different view. I enjoy talking with patients everyday, clerking and follow up with their progress and learn how they are being treated. Ward 7 is just like a live library, filled with live medical textbooks, just so much to learn from every different patients that I've clerked! And eventually seeing them getting better each day, I just can't help feeling happy for my patients:) 

Well, that was the happy part. Of course, the counterpart always follow, like a shadow. Been scold countless times by specialists, with or without any good reason. But its ok for me though, understand their workload. Moreover, medical students are the time when we should accept all the scoldings right? Better being scold now when no damage to patient is done, rather than when we start to work as HO when scolding cannot bring a patient back to life. No affordable mistake that can be made anymore once we start working as a doctor. This may sound scary, because who never make mistakes? But as far as Im concern, I wish I could just stay focus and keep strong mind in whatever thing that I do, and try my best to help my patient.

Oh did I tell you I've got one of the most famous Prof as my supervisor and examiner for this posting? Some gave me loads of advices out of concern, some looked at me with those sympathy expression, whilst some laughed at me for being so-called-unfortunate. No doubt I was once intimidated by the scary rumor, but c'mon! Who knows whether its a blessing in disguise? At least Im having such a good motivation to study and don't allow myself to sink into laziness everyday. And so far everything is good. Im just gonna work my butt off, try my best to improve myself everyday, stop worrying about the future that I couldn't control and accept any outcome that results.

Lastly, can't wait to go back for Chinese New Year! 
My home~my family~my pet~CNY delicacies~~~
:D

Happy 2013:)

This is my very first post in 2013:

Firstly, before writing this I've spent about half an hour reading back my posts in 2012 and only did I realized that there were not as many as I thought have written. To me its not a bad thing as revealing too much of myself through written words in this digital world is not a good way to know me. Yea, because words can cheat, words have no expressions. I have thought of abolishing this blog actually, but in the end I still decided to keep it. As long as Im not wasting too much time on it, its nevertheless a good portal of sharing of my thoughts and a gateway to channel out my emotion, be it positive or negative.

2012 was a really happening year to me. I experienced countless events that were least expected to happen. All the problems and feelings were SO mixed up and complicated till I couldn't even recall the events in sequence. Perhaps its because I decided to let go. The past is the past. Yes, I agree that the tiny thorns are not so easy to remove, but Im still hoping that things can turn better. Just let the nature takes its course.

But, no matter how, Im still standing on my own feet. I've learnt to listen to my heart, to choose and believe on my stand. 

I keep resolutions for every new year, non-exceptionally for 2013:

to work hard, learn as much as I can, and enjoy each and every posting>pass every posting exams making sure I have adequate knowledge in each field in order to become safe doctor in the future>graduate and leave Kelantan>become a House officer who practice medicine safely and be able to take care of the sick, preferably as close to my home as possible:)

Just as simple as that.

Happy new year everyone!

May all beings have peaceful mind, healthy body and practice good morality. 

Together, we can make this world a better place to live.