the last war ends...

the war has ended,at last...


today's MCQ paper was undeniably challenging!
and im such a careless girl you know...
i must ALWAYS recheck my answer whenever i sit for MCQ...
let's take just now's as an example:
A patient suspected of infected H1N1 should wear a surgical mask--True
HAHA
stupid me~

can't wait to go home!!!!!!!!
:D

the temptation...

help~
the temptation of going home is so over-whelming
i know i need to study for tomorrow's MCQ
but the moment i open my notes and start studying
my mum's cute face appear on my notes wor
haha

so im here to blog again
a promise to myself:after finished this entry i shall start memorizing the notes for...
drugs!
viral hepatitis A,B,C,D,E!
for sure there'll come out in tomorrow's paper...
because their names are so intertwined and similar and confusing
just enough to make your head burst in MCQ~

hhmmm~
what shall i write in this entry then?
of course,what i wanna do when im back home...

♥give my mum a big hug
♥tease my sis and bro
♥pet my dogs
♥watch HOUSE MD from astro AXN
♥hangout with my besties
♥shopping
♥tang yuan day
♥baking
♥swimming,cycling and jogging
♥eat home-cooked dishes
♥apply a nice nail polish
♥trim my bushes of hair
♥eat the nicest western food
♥have a nice,family dinner at a restaurant
...
...
...

well...these are all that i could think of,for now...i'll add something more when i think of more^^

this is what i did when i was depressed during the study week...

take an ugly pic of myself!!!

note how depressed i looked...

with the eyebags...

pallor...

 a fake smile...

and an anti-facebook sign at the left corner

XD

heeeeeee~

happily,proudly,holding my new iPod...

been using it for 1 month

love it!

the functions and sound qualities are awesome!

one of my anti-depressant...

HAHA

okay~
vivian,if you don't study now...
tomorrow you'll be regretting!!!!!
shooshooshoo~

"with great power comes great responsibility"

~spiderman

and to gain the power and hold the great responsibility,

vivian need to study...

~cheers~

losing myself to nervousness

GOSH
no matter how well-prepared was i...
im still losing myself to nervousness=.=


i slept at 9.30pm last night
and i woke up at 3am this morning
i just felt so fresh and awake and couldn't sleep anymore
crazy???
i thought so too...
haha


let's back to the topic...
my OSCE CLINICAL paper just now was...
i kinda made a mess out of it...


firstly,i was sooo nervous prior entering the examination ward...The first station i faced: surprisingly,there isn't any doctor in that station. Only i realised that there are questions and an ECG strip on the table!!!GREAT,i was asked to interpret the ECG,state the abnormalities and give provisional diagnosis.With my palpitating heart,racing mind and blank brain,to make it worse,with my other group members taking history and performing PE and were presenting to doctors with volume and frequency that could reached into my ears,it was sooo hard for me to focus on the ECG strip!!!i knew,i was so confident and was pretty sure that i have all the knowledges in my brain,but,i was so,damned panic!the most obvious sign were ST elevation in inferior leads,with pathological Q wave,prolonged PR intervals,but i just couldn't identify the T wave inversion,and the worst of all...i forgot to check whether there's any left ventricular hypertrophy!!!


sorry for using all the medical jargons...
please bear with me,only for this post kay=)


my second station was history taking...my patient was a 16 years old male with 1 year history of smoking,3 days history of coughing out blood,and 2 days history of low grade fever and chest pain that is aggravated by cough,with no history of TB contact and family history of cancer...everything was running smoothly,till...when i was asked to give a provisional diagnosis,there are 2 major possibilities in my mind:pulmonary tuberculosis or bronchogenic carcinoma???then only i realised my biggest mistake:i forgot to ask for night sweat!!!luckily my doctor was so kind and he allowed me to ask one last question...alas,i made a correct diagnosis and was able to answer questions thrown by the doctors...


my third station was physical examination with a sarcastic-looking doctor. i think i did everything smoothly,till when the last bell rung and the exam was finish,only did i realised that there are few signs that i've missed to check!!!trust me,no matter how many times you have been practising,you'll still be forgetting something...


and it was over,finally...
conclusion:nervousness can ruin everything


one last paper for tomorrow:
Multiple Choice Questions
well,not so multiple though,you can choose between true,false or just leave it blank
i HATE making choices...

the disastrous week will be over real soon!!!
yesterday my mum called and asked:
we cook tangyuan when you come back kay?
so warm♥
hehe


ooyea...
i came across a doctor's blog today from india
and it worth a read=)
http://indianmedic.blogspot.com/

thanks for the blessing

im feeling really thankful for Buddha's blessing

His teaching led and inspire me to become a good doctor later in my life

and because of having this as my life's goal

i have the strength to maintain my stamina and keep my concentration in revision

and because of that

im able to answer the questions in the exam hall

for sure there aren't perfect

but i've tried my best to give the best diagnosis and explanations=)

thanks for letting me know that my effort is worthwhile

not only for exams,but for the sake of my future patients

Oh yea...

there's one more thing that i'd like to prove it to the world

that by actively involved in extra-curricular activities

it won't really affect your studies

as long as you know how time management works

and you know where your limit stands


nope...
im not an A chaser...
im just a D--dream chaser^^

cheers!

2 days more and you're freeeEEEE!!!

let's prepare for tomorrow's OSCE CLINICAL paper...

first time sitting for paper like this...

nope we'll not be SITTING

we'll be talking and doing PE and presenting the findings!!!

just wish me luck❤

living in the war...

i put on my armour and helmet

had been spending hours on sharpening my sword

on 12.30noon today...

i headed for my first ever war during my 2nd year of medical studies...

and it turned out...

not bad=)

whole-heartedly...

i feel touched and thankful for receiving sooo many messages of encouragement and wishing me best of luck...

from seniors,juniors and pals from my batch...

thanks,for thinking of me:)

i think my brain has involuntarily become lazy after the first paperX)

after coming back to my room

i can't resist the temptation of cycling to go to visit my wushu juniors

they were having wushu prac with 3rd year seniors...

well,i just kinda miss em^^

after logged into facebook...

i came across sooo many friends of mine who keep on complaining about how badly they've done in their paper just now...

Hhmmm~

believe me,those who said so will definitely end up getting better result than you

haha

just don't believe in what they posted or told you

im an honest girl

so im going to tell you that i did quite okay in the paper just now

although it wasn't perfect

but it was okay...

at least it makes me feel like my effort is not wasted

ENOUGH!!!

gotta back to prepare for my Essay paper tomorrow

don't give up❤

Barley Girl

living alone outside can be so easy

just take myself as an example...

i can cook 1L of barley drink 

and i can survive 1 day by drinking barley

trust me,it can really fills your stomach as i put LOTS of barley inside

just call me Barley Girl

:)

im currently addicted to banana chips!!!

the moment i opened the container i just can't stop eating it

♡     ♡     ♡     ♡     ♡

2 days left before the Judgement Day

though i've tried my best to read everything

i don't even dare to think about how much of it that really stays inside my brain

but i promise that i'll not give up

no matter what kinda f**king questions are thrown to me

im gonna screw out the answer from my brain

hahaha

=D

"We do no great things, only small things with great love". 

--Mother Teresa

study week = ???

its all about sticking your ass on your chair all day

"fishing" and falling asleep on your study desk

in the mean time...

snacking on high calories delicacies to prevent sleepiness

building up a circumferential of fat around my waist

like concentric hypertrophy of LV

while...

squezzing in as much knowledge as your brain can hold before it bursts apart

and undergo liquefactive necrosis

this is what study week meant to me

night world:)

just hope that i won't be waking up suddenly in the middle of the night like what i did last night...

odd

i woke up at 1.30am
my brain felt like it was given an electric shock
and i was awake from my slumber out of a sudden
was rolling inside my blanket searching for the most comfy position 
trying to fall asleep again 
but i failed

i turned on my table lamp...
piggy roomie was still awake and was watching drama
she stared at me and took out her handy to check for the time
and said:"你真是难以理解。。。"
i replied:"对咯，我自己也很难以理解。。。"
=.=

lol

since i can't sleep now...
all i can do is to use this time wisely to study
although this is an odd hour
but what to do?
so weird,lah~

♡think positively

♡keep your optimisticism

♡and study efficiently

ps,im finally feeling hungy right now...gonna make something to eat!^^

medical student's syndrome 2

first of all,i'd like to apologize for congesting my blog with posts these days...
its just my way of voicing out the immense tension situation im facing during exam...
as i don't like to post my feelings at facebook,which is much superficial and exposed...


Gosh i really lost my appetite T_T
seriously its my first time feeling so...
usually i ALWAYS feel like eating...
now,i can snack alot during the afternoon but when it comes to dinner i feel nausea...
and now only i know how bad does it feels like
that you think you should eat something but you just can't


and my sleeping hours are altered too
i feel sleepy at about 9pm and from that time onwards my brain can't receive input anymore
so i'll sleep at 10pm and wake up at 4-5am to start studying again
people will say that im not a youngster,im more like an old person
as youngsters will only sleep after 12am and wake up at 9++pm
lol


ok...its 10.08pm now...just feel like jotting down something here before i go to sleep...feeling nauseated again...but i plan to wake up at 4.30am tomorrow morning to compensate the notes that i should finish reading tonight...

guten tag~

hot like hell

do you still remember that i keep on fussing about the rainy weather in previous posts?

i think somehow God read my blog...

because...

MAN,its HOT like HELL!!!

rainy days make me lazy and sleepy

but over sunshine-ness make me drowsy

can't we have something in between?X)

nevertheless

i love to stare at the bright blue sky with fluffy white clouds in the morning

then i will take a long, deep breath

and stretch all the tendons and ligaments over my body(since i don't exercise much during this study week^^)

before starting my revision marathon

owh i think im gaining weight over this few weeks...

its due to my crunch over snacks i guess...

but i've already tried to crunch on the healthiest,lowest calorie snacks possible!

like raisins,apple,oat biscuits,dried fruits...

perhaps its due to the "sedentary" study week?...

nevermind...

will try to compensate these after this exam!!!

autonomic drugs...

HERE I COME!!!

:P

crazy drugs!

drugs for bronchial asthma:
❤beta-agonist:salbutamol,terbutaline,fenoterol,fomoterol,salmeterol
❤methylxanthine:aminophyline,theophyline
❤corticosteroid:hydrocortisone,prednisolone,beclomethasone,budesonide
❤anti-cholinergic:ipratropium,tiotropium
❤mast cell stabilisers:cromolyn,nedocromil
❤leukotriene pathway inhibitor:montelukast,zafirlukast,zileuton
❤anti IgE monoclonal antibodies:omalizumab

=.=

why all those names sounded so weird???
and some of them sounded extremely the same!!!
and...
these are ONLY drugs for bronchial asthma...
there are antitussives,decongestants,antihistamines,respiratory stimulants,mucolytics,expectorants,anti-hypertensives,emetics,anti-emetics... ... ...

last year my obstacle were the names of all the muscles in humans' body
and this year...DRUGS!!!

anyway,just taking a sweet break before carry on to start revising another system...
YAY!!!
brroooooom~
XD

medical student's syndrome

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.  

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

eye bags...

dark circles...

the moment i looked into the mirror when i woke up this morning

i got a real shock!!!

>o<

nausea during late afternoon...

lethargy...

mood-swing...

social withdrawal...

hyperpigmentation around the eyes...

reduced bowel movement...

memory loss...

i shall name it Vivian's Medical Students Syndrome

since its discovered by me

lol

well,it sounded kinda bad

but actually it just wasn't THAT bad

yea it's not bad,i mean my revision progression

and even if its bad,i would not say that its bad anyway

...

...

...

i shall add another symptom into Vivian's syndrome:talking nonsenseXP

seriously,

i think i've already gathered and put myself back into place

compared to days ago when every parts of mine are shattered all over

its all about determination,perseverance and passion

i believe in my capability

i can do it

i know it

:)

♫     ♫     ♫

special dedication to my parents:

HAPPY HONEYMOON-ING!!!

:P

and don't worry,i promise that i won't commit suicide JUST because of studying...

i was just joking in the phone lol

a note for myself

vivian,don't try to convince yourself that this is hard.

it's just not easy.

i just need some courage and motivation to move on.

i just need to stay calm.

and shut my mind off from others' influences.

be strong.

don't give up.

like you always did previously.

stay focus on what you wanna do or achieve.

and everything will be fine.

can somebody please prescribe a drug for my palpitation?

i need ♥ and :)

sabah sabah sabah...

dear readers,
im just taking a 15 minutes break
and i'll be heading for a senior's briefing on ECG...

firstly,
another GREAT news:
i'll be heading to Sabah on next year August!!!
looking forward to Mountain Kota Kinabalu climbing,Kota Kinabalu,Labuan,Sandakan & Brunei sight-seeing
=D

however,im feeling so extremely guilty for spending so much of my parents' $$$
i promise i'll find a part-time job during my 3 months hols next year!
i promise i'll save all my 2011 angpau's $$$ in the bank and only use it for the Sabah trip!
i promise i'll spend every single cent wisely,from now onwards!
and i promise that...
when i become a doctor in the future...
i'll try to sponsor every single trips that daddy & mummy wanna travel to!
♥^^♥

secondly,
bad luck strikes my batch of coursemates...
there are already 3 coursemates of mine being admitted to HUSM ward in these 2 weeks
owh please...
everybody please take care of yourself kay?
don't be too stressful even exam is coming...
go for exercise if there's no rain in the evening...
eat as healthy as possible...
and get adequate sleep...
~good luck~

i love to study in the library

:)

today's menu is...

another rainy day...

without sunshine

without energy

i need to photosynthesize!!!

>.<

but nevermind...

i have music as my greatest company

whenever i feel sleepy

whenever i feel sad

whenever i feel down

whenever i feel lonely

whenever i feel bored

whenever i feel lazy

music is always the best medicine

the best cure to all the signs and symptoms

music from New Age

dreamy songs from Disney's fairy tales

pop songs by JJ,Fish Leong or Jay Chow

classical musics from Bach,Mozart and Beethoven

they walk with me

through ups and downs

through cold and warm

through tears and smile

this is the medicine that cured my emo symptom yesterday

it totally heals my soul

and gives me courage

to stand firm

to stay tough

to not give up

kudos!!!to both the lyrics and melodies~

♫ 爱与希望 ♫

by JJ

明天是好的

我們要堅定著

愛~ 讓我們不放棄活著

還要繼續和大自然拔河

當愛與希望 投射炙熱的太陽

昨日淚光 會隨時間都蒸發

別輕易放棄 明天要許更多願望

裝滿了勇氣 就更有力量

當愛與希望 倒映暖暖的月亮

再回頭望 又是築好的家鄉

我知道未來還有好多路要闖

我打開了窗 看見了晴朗 

ps...i have a lil secret to share:im using Harry Potter's theme melody as my message ringtone now,i love it when people send me messages,it feels like im living in the movie^^

okies,leisure time's up!!!

time to eat...

Tonight's Menu:

pathophysiology of all the signs and symptoms for GIT
lol

a sigh of relieve

the past 2 days were really torturing...
idiopathically,i was asked to do the case presentation this week...
the last week of Gastrointestinal System
and exactly the week before our first term exam
well,the reason that im doing this isn't really idiopathic though,
just don't wanna reveal it here...
anybody interested to know can "38" with me personally la
XD

anyway,the depressing journey started yesterday...
when i went to 4 different wards yet i couldn't find a suitable patient to do the clerking
so,reluctantly,i went back to the previous ward to clerk a not-so-suitable patient
at 3Utara,which is the female surgical ward...
her provisional diagnosis is Esophageal Carcinoma
now you know why she's not-so-suitable

anyway,i had a hard time obtaining the history and trying to perform physical examination on her
and after the clerking,i had insomnia and lost of appetite,
whenever i think of this patient
i feel really,really sad for her

so...
for the past 2 days my world was just SO grey...
so stressful,so depressing,so sad...
and my revision schedule is stucked!

seriously,i need to overcome my hyper-emotional feeling towards my patient
can anybody please provide some tips?
my feeling is so easily affected by the patient's condition...

anyway,i've finished my case presentation just now
and definitely learnt A LOT from Dr.Chew,
a superb doctor from the A&E department,who looked a bit like xiao huang...
HAHAHA

nah~everything is done now...
get back to your revision vivian!!!
shooshooshoo~

sleeping early tonight

i went for a jog
it was a windy afternoon
the rain has finally stopped
the air was so cold that i felt like my lungs are gonna freeze
i sweat a lot and shed some of the calories
but immediately,i replaced it all with a heavy dinner
XD

i have an average mood today...
not so happy yet not so sad
just nothing
and nothing means there's something which i can't figure out what is it

there are times of disappointment
when i really get sick of working with somebody who's not-so-responsible
when im really,really tired of being the initiator of everything
ending up being hated,maybe,by that somebody
im not so sure of the part of being hated
because when people hate you,they won't tell you the truth,they'll just pretend
that's the ugliest and most dangerous part of human being

there are times when i feel guilty
when i think myself as a bad person
when i think i might hurt somebody's feeling
however that's just a blind guess
because that person just looked normal in front of me
again,human beings are too good at pretending

there are times of stressful and depressed
when i can't achieve my revision list of the day
like today,im supposed to finished reading "Chronic Inflammation"
yet im here,blogging
because i can't read,so i write

its not yet even 10pm and im already feeling sleepy!!!
the lecture note of "Chronic Inflammation" is just laying in front of me,begging for my attention
but sorry i just can't read you
its of useless effort reading you now
when the gate to my brain is closed
and he said: please come again tomorrow! 

dear readers,
good nightC=

all i hear is raindrops

so,here i am again
to continue yesterday's unfinished babbling
see?i never break my promise^^

do you know that Kelantan is now in rainy season?
it has been raining on and off and on and off and on... ...
i remembered few weeks ago it was raining non-stop for 2 days
and the longkang outside my room was out-pouring
while i was expecting a swimming pool right in front of me the next morning
a big,shiny Sun greeted me the moment i tied up the window's curtain

i just love the way the sun shines through my window♥

(sorry for the mess^^'')

and this is the view outside my window(phoebe has a winter scenery,me?a pool of waterXD)

anyway,the building you see here is actually my hostel last year...

obviously,the rain has stopped,but there's still a tiny pool of water that yet to be absorbed...

that was a really great morning,with the fresh smells of soil,grass and S.U.N!!!

believe me,you'll definitely miss the Sun and his Warmth after they have been missing for 2 days

heeeeeheeee^^

just can't resist the temptation of taking a pic of mine with the Sun shining through

★     ★     ★

owh i can hear the raindrops now...

let's pray for a shiny morning when i wake up tomorrow!

★     ★     ★

another significance of blogging about the weather in kelantan is that

it's affecting my lifestyle...

when it rains,i can't jog

when it rains,i can't cycle

when it rains,my laundries can't dry

when it rains,my room turns into a refrigerator

when it rains,taking a bath is torturing

when it rains,it makes me feel lazy

most devastating of all...

when it rains...

im forced to stay in my room all day long

and the rain,it drains me out of energy!!!

i need to moooooove around~

i don't wanna hibernate~

X)

★     ★     ★

time's up vivian

time to get back to your revision

heavy rain can't extinguish your burning spirit

you know it

:)